tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post2168302693916735928..comments2023-05-14T03:03:09.451-05:00Comments on Female Impersonator: The Mundane RapeAmeliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10884754298018500343noreply@blogger.comBlogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-91478163209721805672008-05-16T13:00:00.000-05:002008-05-16T13:00:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-57806178508873898592008-05-16T12:54:00.000-05:002008-05-16T12:54:00.000-05:00I was going to try to contribute something meaning...I was going to try to contribute something meaningful to this discussion, but after reading all the comments I'm just too exhausted. All I'll say is thank you, Jen, for posting your experience. And thank you for defending it even in the face of such obvious ignorance and hatred.<BR/><BR/>Now I know why I was told I was brave for sharing my experiences. You're a lot braver than I am.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-20422549058245473312008-05-16T10:15:00.000-05:002008-05-16T10:15:00.000-05:00"No means no" doesn't seem to work for some people..."No means no" doesn't seem to work for some people, so how about "yes means yes"? We're going to keep insisting on consent until everyone understands and consent is given in every single sexual act. No matter what.lindsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13285797515594923013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-38970321332873267612008-05-16T05:04:00.000-05:002008-05-16T05:04:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-44319174245427084992008-05-15T23:10:00.000-05:002008-05-15T23:10:00.000-05:00Yes means yes for a reason. Anything except yes me...<I>Yes means yes for a reason. Anything except yes means nothing happens at all.</I><BR/><BR/>Absolutely excellent retort.<BR/><BR/>And Jen, this was a powerful piece. I've never been in your shoes, but I know women and girls who have, and I know it took a great amount of courage to write it. But this kind of thing <B>needs</B> to be written about to bring it to the collective attention. Thanks for taking the time to share it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-51209183689181256742008-05-15T21:59:00.000-05:002008-05-15T21:59:00.000-05:00No means no for a reason. Anything except no means...<I>No means no for a reason. Anything except no means nothing at all.</I><BR/><BR/>How about this instead:<BR/><BR/>Yes means yes for a reason. Anything except yes means nothing happens at all.lindsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13285797515594923013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-16145327346110546262008-05-15T19:13:00.000-05:002008-05-15T19:13:00.000-05:00i just wanted to weigh in thanking jen for the pos...i just wanted to weigh in thanking jen for the post and for hanging in through the comments. sharing something like this is hard enough in a space totally insulated from anon-type comments, and i admire you greatly for keeping your cool through all of this. while reading anon, et al, made my blood boil, reading your post and level-headed responses made me inspired and supported. sincerely - thank you.abby jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11711949570586523696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-60822567762993229422008-05-15T18:29:00.000-05:002008-05-15T18:29:00.000-05:00Jen, The more I read stories like this, the more I...Jen, The more I read stories like this, the more I realize how common my experience was. After 16 years I am unable to speak about what happened to me publicly. Bless you for having the courage to do what many of us can not.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-85047710163186220772008-05-15T16:48:00.000-05:002008-05-15T16:48:00.000-05:00Thanks Jen for posting this. You're very brave. I'...Thanks Jen for posting this. You're very brave. I'm sorry that you have to deal with these rape-apologists.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02750816280363553434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-72034115704411889202008-05-15T16:44:00.000-05:002008-05-15T16:44:00.000-05:00To all anons:Consent is not the absence of resista...To all anons:<BR/><BR/><B>Consent is not the absence of resistance. It is the presence of approval.</B>Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05333226493312516551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-261815265107662882008-05-15T15:08:00.000-05:002008-05-15T15:08:00.000-05:00Don't tell me what "we feminists" did. I think I w...Don't tell me what "we feminists" did. I think I would know better than you, as I identify as a feminist.<BR/><BR/>But your problem is (correct me if my perception is off) that you honestly believe that rape is so simple to understand. Do you honestly believe that the only people who are raped are the ones who say "No! NO!!!!" and are ignored?<BR/><BR/>It doesn't work like that. I mean, it would be easier that way, giving all the responsibility to the women /men who are being raped, to say, "Well, it's all your fault if you don't say 'no.'" But if you read my post you would know that that is not always possible. <BR/><BR/>And if the sexual initiator does not actively seek consent by asking, it is absolutely wrong to assume that it was granted...because that's what you'd be doing - assuming. You can't be positive you're not raping someone if you don't ask them if they want to have sex.<BR/><BR/><B>Consent cannot be assumed. It has to be granted.</B>Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10884754298018500343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-81410414778688791662008-05-15T14:13:00.000-05:002008-05-15T14:13:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-9265460764795291042008-05-15T12:25:00.000-05:002008-05-15T12:25:00.000-05:00Jen, thank you for this post. I would have turned...Jen, thank you for this post. I would have turned off comments a long time ago, and have recently experienced something very similar myself. I'm trying to suppress my blinding rage so that I don't further provoke the troll. Stay strong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-23003600502635605592008-05-15T12:05:00.000-05:002008-05-15T12:05:00.000-05:00Attitudes like yours, Anonymous, are the kinds tha...Attitudes like yours, Anonymous, are the kinds that make American society problematic for rape survivors, and it makes me sad.<BR/><BR/>Please read my post, where I discuss my beliefs about consent.<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://impersonated.blogspot.com/2008/05/rape-power-fear-and-what-to-do-about-it.html" REL="nofollow">Here.</A>Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10884754298018500343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-36786928549066381542008-05-15T12:04:00.000-05:002008-05-15T12:04:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10884754298018500343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-43292075356303999292008-05-15T11:30:00.000-05:002008-05-15T11:30:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-28875432370248053932008-05-15T10:27:00.000-05:002008-05-15T10:27:00.000-05:00I did not read anywhere that her boyfriend asked h...I did not read anywhere that her boyfriend asked her if she wanted to participate in these sexual acts. Without him asking and knowing for sure, I am inclined to believe that it was sexual assault/rape.<BR/><BR/>Period.<BR/><BR/>Anon2, I do not understand what you mean by "calling the guy a rapist just alienates reasonable people who want behavior like this to end."<BR/><BR/>I hate the idea that survivors speaking out somehow alienates other people. What? The person who assaulted her? She didn't even use his name.Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10884754298018500343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-41458952315164476602008-05-15T08:41:00.000-05:002008-05-15T08:41:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-23301096489431526792008-05-07T18:06:00.000-05:002008-05-07T18:06:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-34594290968558445582008-05-07T17:35:00.000-05:002008-05-07T17:35:00.000-05:00Kate, don't delete his comments. Just leave them h...Kate, don't delete his comments. Just leave them here. Ignore him and let him go on hating feminism and what we do.Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10884754298018500343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-73969874721911062452008-05-07T17:17:00.000-05:002008-05-07T17:17:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-37702126830598626572008-05-07T14:50:00.000-05:002008-05-07T14:50:00.000-05:00Anon, personal attacks on the writers of this blog...Anon, personal attacks on the writers of this blog are not tolerated.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00139058825727884888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-80121317853194559242008-05-07T14:12:00.000-05:002008-05-07T14:12:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-53541776845956043722008-05-06T10:37:00.000-05:002008-05-06T10:37:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-10642270743371431612008-05-06T10:18:00.000-05:002008-05-06T10:18:00.000-05:00Everyone: Stop giving Anon reason to comment here....Everyone: Stop giving Anon reason to comment here. He will merely twist everything you say. Do not respond to him. We will have to try to move this discussion elsewhere where it can be more productive. <BR/><BR/>But please, just ignore him. Arguing with someone like him will accomplish nothing.Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10884754298018500343noreply@blogger.com