tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post2900310896225920888..comments2023-05-14T03:03:09.451-05:00Comments on Female Impersonator: Walking as Rebellion?Ameliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10884754298018500343noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-3968274229055262602009-07-27T16:34:01.898-05:002009-07-27T16:34:01.898-05:00I have a more complex issue with catcalling and th...I have a more complex issue with catcalling and the like where I live--in the midst of a neighborhood where racial tensions tend to run high--poorer, black communities surrounding a college full of mostly white kids. <br /><br />I am a white woman and the vast majority of the men who catcall at me are black. I really want to adopt a more aggressive response than "just ignoring" it. I feel like it would make me feel less helpless in the face of threatening masculinity. But if I respond negatively to men who aren't white, I am automatically a racist bitch and--depending on where I am in the neighborhood--might be putting myself in some physical danger by doing so. How do I deal with this? It frustrates me so much that I feel like I literally can't do anything in these situations that might indicate that what these men are doing is wrong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-78583980515272999042009-07-23T13:00:26.270-05:002009-07-23T13:00:26.270-05:00Keep in mind, it's not an excuse.
Men typical...Keep in mind, it's not an excuse.<br /><br />Men typically have a predisposition towards sexualizing everything they see. Sure, it's evolution, blah blah blah, but, with a little bit of willpower--and I do mean a little bit--it can easily be overcome. These guys simply don't care about how these actions affect women. They say that they don't care when it happens to them so women shouldn't care, either, and also, well, because they simply don't care if women don't like it.<br /><br />Anyway, this is what's going on. These men--ahem, boys--are simply unwilling to look at their actions because they fulfill their sexual desires.<br /><br />I wish I had some advice to give on how to stop it. When someone acts against me I typically respond with reason, and I think we all know that won't really work too well in this case. I just thought I'd give you the inside scoop.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-60336253440363815302009-07-23T11:29:17.329-05:002009-07-23T11:29:17.329-05:00And wow I just love Sofia's response: put up w...And wow I just love Sofia's response: put up with it! Enjoy it! Let them off the hook! Let the unabashed and unchecked objectification of women go on and on and on! Let men sum up our worth by our body parts--if they're not rude, how could it be harmful...right? Screw that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-59992848540910427962009-07-23T11:26:56.858-05:002009-07-23T11:26:56.858-05:00I'm usually very rude to men who ogle or hit o...I'm usually very rude to men who ogle or hit on me. No matter what I wear, it does not matter--there will be men staring, pointing me out to their friends, hooting, hollering, etc. My response is to flip them off, insult them, or worse. Sometimes I go up to them and start making gorilla noises (kind of my way of reminding them how animalistic they're being). One time a group of boys at a bus stop were pointing me out from blocks away so when I got close enough I flipped them off, and once I got to the bus stop, I walked right up to the them, stared each and every one of them down, and asked if there was a reason they were staring. I looked mean enough that I'm pretty sure I scared the daylights out of them. These days, hostility seems to get the point across. Because I'm pretty enough, I get away with it. Just more sexism in a different form. <br /><br />I'm sick of it. I remember being sexually harassed so many times when I was a meat cutter. One customer even sexually assaulted me. I'm sick of being stared at. I'm not the type of women who dresses to the nines trying to get attention, I wear modest clothing, never wear anything flashy. But it doesn't matter. The attention is always there whether your want it or not.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-54623876768562860322009-07-21T20:23:47.417-05:002009-07-21T20:23:47.417-05:00Ignoring it sounds like the best option in my opin...Ignoring it sounds like the best option in my opinion. But if they get too close or too harassing, kindly ask for their names and make a report. Or you could have a police officer escort you in civilian clothes and make a point by catching them in broad daylight and in public. That ought to show it's not tolerated?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-26959742347724531842009-07-21T12:41:41.422-05:002009-07-21T12:41:41.422-05:00No one said this was a female-only problem. Howeve...No one said this was a female-only problem. However, most of the cases of street harassment are perpetrated by men against women. That's the sad reality.Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10884754298018500343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-58606310120190323252009-07-21T09:57:41.669-05:002009-07-21T09:57:41.669-05:00im sorry but I'm a male, and I'm a runner ...im sorry but I'm a male, and I'm a runner and no matter where I go, what Im wearing I get "wolf whistles and cat calls" from all sexes, I think people just Like to yell things at people while they drive by. Its dumb but don't feel like it only happens to womenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-16199547412013750392009-07-17T12:57:05.643-05:002009-07-17T12:57:05.643-05:00Let me start off by saying I lived in California w...Let me start off by saying I lived in California where if you're walking down the street men think you're "working" and now I live in Buenos Aires where you can't walk 10 feet without having something said to you (sometimes sweet, sometimes vulgar and completely direspectful.) <br /><br />I can understand women getting mad if a man says something vulgar to them. I definitely would be! But come on, if a guy is saying something sweet, just let it go. A lot of these men are harmless and if anything a lot of them are just appreciating the beauty of women. Last night on my way to a show a guy about my age (early twenties) passed by and said "linda" which means pretty. I found this completely harmless. Also I would like to add something that may be off the subject... a lot of my female friends in California would complain that they would go out lock eyes with a cute guy, smile and then the guy would never come up to talk to them. This is one of the reasons why, because a lot of men are scared of women treating them like crap when they do get the guts to talk to them. <br /><br />I think there are a few ways of dealing with this.<br /><br />1. ignore it. :)<br />2. like one of the readers said put on your glasses and your headphones. :)<br />3. get angry about it and ruin your whole day. :/<br />4. If they are vulgar flip them off or yell at them, still making you mad and ruining your day. :/<br />5. or my personal favorite, if they say something sweet, take it as a compliment and keep walking. If they say something vulgar ignore it, don't let it get to you, and keep walking. :)<br /><br />If you're attractive you will always attract attention. It's just the way it is. Getting angry won't get you anywhere but ruin your own day. <br /><br />This is just my opinion and I hope no one took it the wrong way. I say this with peace and love, without trying to get anyone angry or upset. :) just a different way to look at the situation.Sofshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17050487590157257897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-78007658695120625172009-07-17T11:43:57.770-05:002009-07-17T11:43:57.770-05:00You mentioned you had a cell phone, does it have a...You mentioned you had a cell phone, does it have a camera? Take their pictures. There are public forums where you can post the date time and picture of the offender. Fight back.trueloraxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12584502877476115540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-75297624671372179752009-07-17T03:56:45.041-05:002009-07-17T03:56:45.041-05:00Also, I might mention, that I got a pretty heavy d...Also, I might mention, that I got a pretty heavy dose of instruction regarding what is and isn't appropriate from my mother, growing up. much of it was informative and instructional.<br /><br />also, (off topic), i also got a good dose of how a bitter woman felt towards men who do this kind of thing - or men in general - and, unfortunately, to this day, i'm left with an inability to even give a woman in public a shy hello. as i said, off topic.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01040401011978143927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-39597699869028515852009-07-17T03:49:21.048-05:002009-07-17T03:49:21.048-05:00It's kind of a complex issue, and not a comple...It's kind of a complex issue, and not a completely feminist one. As a guy, I usually avoid certain parts of town - not because I'm homophobic (anything but), but I am uncomfortable with the type of attention you're describing while I'm just trying to go about my business. I've had women whistle at me as well, but it's rare. It is, by far, a phenomenon perpetrated by men, but does transcend, to some extent, gender.<br /><br />One half of the solution is to try to raise awareness of the issue, and to say to people on a basic level - be classy. You might think you're hot shit, but people don't appreciate that, and you look like an asshole. It's good to educate people and try to get at the root cause of these things, rather than trying for a prohibitive solution.<br /><br />The other half of the solution is, after we've done our best in that regard, to realize that some people are just going to be douchebags. We don't have to take an apologist attitude or anything, but it's a healthy mental attitude to be able to brush things off that offend us.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01040401011978143927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-44218643898087262562009-07-16T08:30:41.107-05:002009-07-16T08:30:41.107-05:00All of the above comments (except for that weird c...All of the above comments (except for that weird comment by anonymous regarding the myth that all women secretly WANT to be catcalled and leered at, ugh wtf) I can so relate to. <br /><br />I work in the center of downtown (in Reykjavik, Iceland, tiny freakin island in the north), on my way there I pass through a small square and past the adjacent café, where certain men (both local and foreigners, who obviously do not have jobs or have some very strange ones which involve sitting on a bench/café all day) will give me looks, yell out comments, whisper creepy shit (audible enough to hear, though), or literally follow me around for some time.<br />It's infuriating and aggravating, ESPECIALLY in the mornings, as I usually go to the café to get my morning caffeine fix, and 9 times out of 10 get some fucking unwanted attention from these losers.<br /><br />Just this morning I came past the café, and there were two (non-Icelandic) guys sitting outside (not in conversation). I dropped my stuff at my desk and headed over again to pick up my coffee. On my way back, just as I passed them again I heard the distinct tone of a sexual comment being thrown at me. Now, I do not speak fluent Spanish, but I do know a word or two, and one of those words is 'puta'. They then proceeded to laugh among themselves, much to my irritation and disgust.<br /><br />I truly wish this had happened after I'd read this post, as I would have hocked the biggest loogie I could muster straight in their direction, accompanied by a very obvious F U gesture.<br /><br />Reading all of these comments and discussions here has strengthened my opinion of this behaviour, that it is indeed harrassment and in some cases pure verbal assault. I've often had to defend my reactions to people (men and women) who don't seem to understand WHY this pisses me off, but coming here and reading has really made me feel better.<br /><br />Thanks for bringing this up to the table, it is a very pervasive matter which concernes all women.Black Metal Bansheehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10467747230833914847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-53457924264591526402009-07-13T22:30:34.759-05:002009-07-13T22:30:34.759-05:00Yes. Yes. Yes.
What the fuck. First of all, you c...Yes. Yes. Yes.<br /><br />What the fuck. First of all, you can read my mind. Lately, I've been thinking of this more than anything, and then I get a Facebook message from Amelia telling me to check out this recent post that got a zillion comments and I say, "right on, let's check it out."<br /><br />I don't usually comment on many websites, but this. This gets me.<br /><br />1. Lately, living in downtown Galesburg (above Kaldis) and biking to work on the Knox campus each day, there are creepy, nasty men who whistle, say crude things ("wanna suck a dick?" yes, word for word), or just plain STARE.<br /><br />Can we talk about the staring? Staring is such an interesting thing that makes me feel uncomfortable when it comes from a strange stranger who is obviously looking at me in terms of his cock. Sometimes they don't even have to SAY anything, and that irks me a fuck-ton.<br /><br />ALSO. Walking a HALF A BLOCK to the apartment where two of my friends live each night to hang out, watch a movie, etc., I often run into a man we ladies living on this street call "the Eye Patch Man." Because he wears an Eye Patch, and also because it's easy for us to warn other girls to look out for him. A nice, distinguishing characteristic of a guy to get away from, right? Oh, it sucks.<br /><br />Anyway, I was walking down the right side of the street, and he was walking down the left side. I see him cross the street. To get to me. So, I cross the street to the side he WAS on, to get away from him. He stops in the middle of the street and almost walks up to me but maybe got the vibe that I was pissed/terrified. Then he holds out is arms, hug-like, and says, "Hey, I'm in love with you. Wanna go somewhere?"<br /><br />SOMETIMES I JUST HATE THE WORLD.<br /><br />So can I just say "Go fuck yourself" to these guys? Please tell me I can. Is that okay? I hope so. Usually I just look very angry and walk away. probably out of fear. Also sucky.<br /><br />2. I try not to hold it against WHERE I live. So many people talk about Galesburg being full of creeps. I really love this town. But I think being brought up in very rich Geneva, Illinois where problems exist but are much less seen, and then coming here and living near a street with lots of bars and businesses, I think I run into a lot more people here, in various states of mind and sobriety, many of them seemingly sexist.<br /><br />I will say this, though - an offering of hope... when I'm with my ladyfriends and we're going home for the night and ask each other things like 'Do you need a walk home?' or 'I saw Eye Patch Man outside, so maybe Sam should walk you home,' I at least hear some angry remarks from my male friends, too. Some of them say they hate that we can't walk as easily as they can. Lots of them think it's fucked up. So there's my hope. But boy, I hope this shit ends. I wonder if it ever will.Annie Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05428473316392300163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-66303377811145396072009-07-13T21:49:39.637-05:002009-07-13T21:49:39.637-05:00I would absolutely hate that. Made me think of th...I would absolutely hate that. Made me think of this video where a woman has revenge on the construction working cat callers. <br /><br /><br />http://www.break.com/usercontent/2008/6/Chick-Gets-Revenge-On-Construction-Workers-512510.htmlUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15520374341283114691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-27725676011832906252009-07-13T18:17:16.143-05:002009-07-13T18:17:16.143-05:00All the "just leave them alone, they won'...All the "just leave them alone, they won't hurt you" comments remind me of this approach to school bullies: If you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone!<br /><br />Yeah, did that ever work for anyone? No. If you try to ignore them, they'll just escalate, because they think that their behavior is acceptable and that they won't face any consequences or resistence.Pizza Diavolahttp://pizzadiavola.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-105803084226653022009-07-13T18:08:52.595-05:002009-07-13T18:08:52.595-05:00im sure you'd prefer to get the odd foul comme...<em>im sure you'd prefer to get the odd foul comment than no comments at all, as we also live in a society that strives towards looking perfect even to just walk down the street.</em><br /><br />Anonymous @ 3:31 P.M.: Please don't generalize from your experience to everyone else, particularly since multiple people here have talked about how the "comments" made them feel unsafe and harassed. Your attitude saying that women secretly want to be harassed, because they desperately want male attention, and therefore they deserve the harassment they get. If that's how you feel about yourself, I'm sorry, but speaking for myself, I'd much rather have zero attention than objectifying and harassing attention, because my self worth doesn't depend on the number of cat calls I get.Pizza Diavolahttp://pizzadiavola.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-81015431306322781852009-07-13T03:18:30.396-05:002009-07-13T03:18:30.396-05:00@ happyfungirl: I love it! It's the perfect re...@ happyfungirl: I love it! It's the perfect response. I'm go to spit in the general direction of anyone harassing me! (As soon as I learn to spit in an pointed manner.) It's so much better than flicking them off, which is directed attention. It's just the right level of casual-condescending-and-unexpected. Thanks!PGnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-36247530861639398612009-07-12T23:08:07.538-05:002009-07-12T23:08:07.538-05:00I used to get a lot of this sort of abuse routinel...I used to get a lot of this sort of abuse routinely when I worked in a chemical plant a few years ago. There was lots of walking involved in my job, and no matter what, a few guys always had to show off and whistle or catcall at me, in my plain work clothes and hard hat. No point in complaining to management - I would have been the "troublemaker". Usually I just ignored it, but it really bothered me. I view it as a veiled threat, as well as an insult. One day, I just spit on the ground in the direction of the offending whistler. That felt oddly empowering. I'm sure the whisting idiot didn't expect it.happyfungirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05147493684108285394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-22694514510500995722009-07-12T16:07:26.831-05:002009-07-12T16:07:26.831-05:00I'm from sweden and the men here are known for...I'm from sweden and the men here are known for being shy and are always getting yelled/whined at for not whistling and flirting with us girls. I've never been whistled or, what did you call it "catcalled"(?), at here in sweden but it happens all the time when im in spain, italy or france at holidays. It's fun for a few days, then it just gets annoying and it feels kinda creepy when men closer to your fathers age whistles at you. <br /><br />Doesn't really have a point other than.. you always want what you don't have I guess :PAgnesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-6032523885122410052009-07-12T15:54:42.593-05:002009-07-12T15:54:42.593-05:00I do as my male friend does whenever someone drivi...I do as my male friend does whenever someone driving by revs their car. Cup your mouth, stop and yell "SORRY ABOUT YOUR PENIS."<br /><br />If you are with a friend, it will get you a giggle :)Tyskahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05329020178798525334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-36497041167640554952009-07-12T15:50:37.758-05:002009-07-12T15:50:37.758-05:00I don't know where you people are living, but ...I don't know where you people are living, but I've never been catcalled or whistled at in my life. I'm not an ugly woman, nor am I overweight (and frankly, that one commenter who said she gained weight to escape this harassment, that's just stupid - she put her own health and body on the line to escape a few comments). But this just never happens to me. I used to live in Barrie, Ontario, and now I'm in Hamilton, where it's much busier. Still no catcalls. But my advice is to ignore them completely, they just want to see a reaction out of you, and you flipping them off does not help. If it bothers you that much, I recommend wearing headphones and listening to music.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-14736412018911243542009-07-12T15:33:54.736-05:002009-07-12T15:33:54.736-05:00and sorry, as i said before. i have had a LOT of e...and sorry, as i said before. i have had a LOT of experience of female friends being disgusted by a comment one minute, only to strutt around trying to get a comment the next simply because someone else got a comment and not them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-89183922802805369742009-07-12T15:31:28.858-05:002009-07-12T15:31:28.858-05:00part of my has to agree with jennifer.
and again ...part of my has to agree with jennifer.<br /><br />and again im on about the nice comments, which in all the places ive visited (which are major places, london, manchester, liverpool to name but a few) its been 95% of the comments.<br /><br />i think we live in a society where we are far too watchfull of our own safety to realise when someone is simply paying us a compliment. and i hate to say this ladies, but im sure you'd prefer to get the odd foul comment than no comments at all, as we also live in a society that strives towards looking perfect even to just walk down the street. we strive towards looking attractive, yet lash out when guys take notice? i dont blame any man for being confusedAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-64877686452943090012009-07-12T15:18:55.209-05:002009-07-12T15:18:55.209-05:00If in a moderate distance, I ask the person harass...If in a moderate distance, I ask the person harassing me if his dick feels any bigger, and if at long distance I will usually give a casual glance and ignore them, because a response is usually what they're trying to gain.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6730657139931062421.post-33395729319031636962009-07-12T14:37:31.391-05:002009-07-12T14:37:31.391-05:00But really, I think it has a lot to do with which ...<i>But really, I think it has a lot to do with which men are around you as you walk, and where you are. </i><br /><br />Very true. I lived in Northern California my whole life and got catcalled only rarely. I studied abroad in England for 3 months and got catcalled all the goddamn time. Pretty sure my attractiveness didn't magically rise when I went to a different country. It's a very cultural thing. I just moved to Austin, Texas a week ago, we'll see how catcalling goes here.<br /><br />PS I wrote a post about this <a href="http://blogofchampions.livejournal.com/150273.html" rel="nofollow">here</a> a little while ago.Lauren Ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06532878289144406742noreply@blogger.com