Female Impersonator

"We Need Fashion to Catch Up To Women of Size"

2011-07-06T11:49:00.004-05:00

I love this piece over at Jezebel. In it, Dodai Stewart comments on an interview with Velvet d'Amour, a plus-sized actress, model and photographer. Some of my favorite quotes by d'Amour that are mentioned in the Jezebel piece are:

Fleshy, curvy women have been relegated to men's magazines, whilst edgy
editorial fashion in particular, has been inundating us with imagery glorifying adolescence (sometimes using models even as young as 13); the standard sample size forces the use of more skeletal models; and the opening of the Eastern bloc countries (where women are naturally quite delicately slender) caused an influx of lanky lovelies to grace the pages of our magazines and thus it's really quite normal that the curves here are deemed as more risqué. We have been fed a steady diet of rail thin, white, tall, Youth for the most part. Thus instead of delving further into what Beauty means to us as individuals, the tendency is not to question authority.

...

Should one go out on a limb and include a genuinely voluptuous model, 9 times out of 10 they will do so by harkening back to the Renaissance. Rubens and the like, are seemingly our only reference point for a larger body […] If we continually marry the fat body with nude classics, then we are hardly creating a revolution.

You can read the entire piece here.

Self Esteem and Street Harassment

2011-06-23T21:06:00.005-05:00

Mandy van Deven over at the Bitch Magazine blog brought up a problem about the way some self-proclaimed feminists judge people (usually women) who are flattered by street harassment that I have always felt but never articulated. Namely, that sitting in judgement of the victim of street harassment's reaction to their harassment is just as counter-productive as victim-blaming when trying to reduce any other crime.

...The message they [commentators] hold is clear: if you're a girl or woman who likes receiving overt sexual attention from men and boys (in public), it's because you lack the self-respect necessary to throw off the confines of external validation regarding female sexuality and beauty. We hear this self-esteem argument in various places, including conversations about female promiscuity, girls and women who wear revealing clothing, and the reasons women become sex workers. The underlying assumption in this logic is that desiring or expressly seeking out male sexual attention is the result of having low self-esteem.

For starters, comments of this kind set up a false dichotomy of women who have self-confidence and those who lack it (as though we don't all struggle with confidence in various circumstances), which allows the speaker to denigrate and "other" women who engage with men unfamiliar to them in a sexual manner on the street, blame these women (at least in part) for the problem of street harassment, and bolster one's own sense of personal integrity and moral superiority.

I thought Mandy's points in the rest of the article (which I highly suggest you read) were really spot-on and insightful. I especially appreciated that she mentioned how fine but distinct the line between flattery and street harassment is. I thought she put it well when she said, "Who determines the difference between a compliment and street harassment? The simple answer is: you do. The not-so-simple-answer is that we all do... and it depends heavily on context."

I do have one criticism with Mandy's article, however. While she quite rightly states that the distinction between flattery and street harassment is partially defined by what the target of the comment or gesture thinks it is, I think she should have clarified that street harassers aren't people who meant to pay a compliment and were just misunderstood. Street harassment, like sexual assault, is not the result of the perpetrator finding their target so irresistible that they cannot control themselves. It is about the perpetrator trying to exert power over and intimidate the person they are directing their comment or gesture at and it is not okay.

While I don't think Mandy was in any way disagreeing with what I said, I do wish she clarified what she meant. Street harassment is unfortunately so normalized and accepted that many targets of it feel they don't have a right to be upset about it or take action against it. In our current environment, myself and my fellow feminist bloggers out there need to be careful that we do not accidentally reinforce an upsetting misconception by not clarifying our meaning.

All in all though, I thought Mandy made some really great points and I applaud her for taking on this issue and pointing out a common problem in the way people talk about victims of street harassment.

Long time, no blog.

2011-06-06T16:01:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. It's Amelia. It's been a long time since I've been on Blogger. I never really explained my absence, so here goes.

I started my prolonged break from feminist blogging (and reading news, in general) when I was going through my first major depressive episode. I was having a difficult time dealing with my personal issues and was unable to handle the stress of being aware of the large world which is, as we all know, filled with terrible problems alongside some amazing triumphs.

At that same time, I was focusing on finishing my undergraduate studies at Knox College. I graduated cum laude from that school on Saturday.

Basically, my life right now is up in the air. I know I want to get training as a volunteer advocate for sexual assault victims. I know I want to write and perform poetry. But I currently have no job.

We will see where I end up, but for the time being, I can't promise I'll do more blogging.

I would like to offer a round of applause to Victoria. Without her work, this blog would not exist. Please leave her some love.

Take care, all of you.

What Trans People Want

2011-05-18T09:47:00.003-05:00

With all the ignorance and bigotry about trans people out there, the project of achieving equality for all people regardless of their gender can seem overwhelming. Recently, a DC trans coalition delivered a list of the trans community's priorties to the Director of GLBT Affairs. Hopefully this list will give advocates ideas of what issues to start with to work towards a fairer, more welcoming world for trans people.

So what do trans people want? Turns out they would like to safely use bathrooms, not be kicked out of their homes, avoid being sexually assaulted, receive fair treatment in the criminal justice system, and not be completely ignored in the city's educational and social services systems.

You can view the list in its entirety here.

NY Times Series: Race Remixed

2011-05-03T21:19:00.004-05:00

The New York Times has been running the series "Race Remixed," which examines the "growing number of mixed-race Americans." I have found this series really interesting, particularly the below video. I would be really interested in hearing your thoughts on the series in general, the topic, and the video specifically.

Italian Women Protest Sexism, Berlusconi

2011-05-01T18:18:00.005-05:00

Italian women are getting fed up with their poor treatment and are starting to take a stand, showing disapproval of their prime minister Berlusconi.

Berlusconi’s approval rating among women has dropped from 48 percent a year ago to 27 percent—an all-time low. True to form, Berlusconi has his own statistics. “Did you hear about the latest poll?” he recently joked. “They asked women between 20 and 30 years old if they want to make love to Berlusconi. Thirty-three percent said yes, and 67 percent said, ‘Again?’”

Arcidonna, a woman’s group, filed a lawsuit against Berlusconi last month for 25 years of abuse against Italian women. “The conduct of the prime minister—now charged with child prostitution—is the final straw,” says Valeria Ajovalasit, the group’s president.

Berlusconi is only part of the problem. According to recent data, Italy is even more sexist than comparable nations.

According to the 2010 Global Gender Gap report by the World Economic Forum, Italy ranks 74th in terms of women’s rights, behind Colombia, Peru, and Romania. Indicators include wage parity, labor-force participation, and domestic violence. Other statistics reveal 95 percent of Italian men have never used a washing machine, and that Italian women spend 21 hours a week on housework while Italian men spend only four.

Luckily, women have started wide-reaching protests across Italy against Berlusconi's sexist speech. Let's hope that this is the start of a larger movement towards equality.

SaVE Act: A Step in the Right Direction

2011-04-27T16:59:00.003-05:00

As we have said before, rape on college campuses is a huge issue that needs to be better addressed. It looks like the proposed SaVE Act may be a step in the right direction.

The Campus Sexual Violence Elimination Act, or SaVE Act, would amend the Higher Education Act of 1965 and expand the 1990 Jeanne Clery Act to "improve education and prevention related to campus sexual violence, domestic violence, dating violence, and stalking."

Co-sponsored by Senator Patty Murray (D-Wash.), the SaVE Act (S. 835) would expand the framework of sexual assault education and victims' rights to include domestic violence, dating violence, and stalking, and addresses the issue of how to define consent in sexual relationships. Schools would be required under the act to include sexual violence statistics in their annual crime reports. Colleges and universities would also be required to explain how to obtain protective orders and other victims' rights whenever a student reports being a victim of sexual violence.

Frankly, the fact that colleges are not already required to do such things as inform survivors of sexual violence about how to obtain a protective order should be disturbing and should move senators to vote for this act. However, the senate often does not do what they should. Here's hoping that the senate does the right thing this time.

Kate Middleton & the Trouble with Fairytales

2011-04-25T13:41:00.006-05:00

I just finished reading this article, the upshot of which was that

...there are certain undeniable truths about the sacrifices this young woman [Kate Middleton] has already made for her upcoming nuptials in addition to her career in fashion (Kate shortly worked for the British clothing brand, Jigsaw), and her photography (Kate had planned an exhibition she ended up not showing). As Cochrane states, "What's deeply dangerous about Kate for the monarchy, is that she looks as purposeless as the rest of them."

In many ways, Middleton has already failed to use her entry into this family as an opportunity to make them more modern. Instead she has convinced the Queen that she will not been reaping havoc and causing scandals galore like Diana, making herself much easier to "manage" (read: control). Kate is more willing to adjust to the royal family's ways than have them adjust to her, and in the process allowing the monarchy to remain unchanged when what it so desperately needs is to change.

All this being said, Kate clearly loves William and maybe at the end of the day, she is doing all this for love. But something about that doesn't sit too well with me. Perhaps it's the whole fairtytale factor thing.

Or maybe, just maybe, Kate Middleton has bigger plans than any one of us could imagine. I mean, Queen Elizabeth is not getting any younger, and guess who happens to be waiting in the wings to be Queen? Perhaps that was the ambition of "Waity Katey", as the British press famously dubbed Middleton, all along.

Maybe Ms. Middleton will get to have her fairytale, the last laugh, and show us all how it's done- as Queen of England.

Thoughts? Does Kate Middleton represent a new, more feminist version of women in the English royal family? Is it even fair to use her as a starting point from which to discuss the role of fairytale and marriage in modern society given her exceptional circumstances?

Update: Planned Parenthood's Budget

2011-03-11T10:22:00.003-06:00

Luckily the Senate voted down the ridiculous bill passed by the House of Representatives that would have cut all federal funding for Planned Parenthood. But women's health advocates can't celebrate just yet.

"As the negotiations for the spending bill continue, it's clear that social conservatives want to ban funding for Planned Parenthood in future spending (negotiations)," said Planned Parenthood Federation of America spokesperson Tait Sye.

The organization also faces a longer-term funding threat in H.R.3, the "Stupak on Steroids" bill, for which congressional subcommittee hearings are set for March 16.

That bill blocks private insurance plans from covering abortion care in the new health care system and imposes tax penalties on small business owners and many other individuals who purchase private insurance plans that cover abortion care. The legislation now has 219 co-sponsors, enough votes to pass the House.

Daniel Craig in Drag for International Women's Day

2011-03-09T08:36:00.003-06:00

Yesterday was International Women's Day. In honor of that fact, Daniel Craig stood up both in drag and in his James Bond attire while statistics were read by Judi Dench about how the life of men and women in the UK are different. I know that these statistics are UK based, but unfortunately they apply very well to the U.S. as well.

Anyway, I am not a big James Bond fan so I was not on the Daniel Craig bandwagon until my friend showed me this video. Now I totally get it. Those legs! That feminist advocacy! *drool*

ESPN Discusses Title IX

2011-03-08T13:56:00.002-06:00

This makes me really happy:

To celebrate Women’s History Month, ESPN is discussing Title IX in a three-part video series. The series features female sports writers and coaches talking about the impact of Title IX, the pros and cons that have developed from it, its influence on their own careers, and its impact on gender notions.

For more information and a link to the site where you can watch the videos, click here.

Make Love Not Porn

2011-03-07T22:24:00.004-06:00

My best friend just directed me to the site "Make Love, Not Porn" which is an initiative I am really excited about. The site primarily consists of information about porn norms and how they don't match up to real life. Here is what the author, Cindy Gallop, says her site is all about:

•MakeLoveNotPorn is not about judgement, or what is good vs what is bad. Sex is the area of human experience that embraces the widest possible range of tastes. Everyone should be free to make up their own mind about what they do and don't like.
•MakeLoveNotPorn is not anti-porn. I like porn and watch it regularly myself.
•MakeLoveNotPorn is simply intended to help inspire and stimulate open, healthy conversations about sex and pornography, in order to help inspire and stimulate more open, healthy and thoroughly enjoyable sexual relationships.

Cindy does a good job of not demonizing what we see in pornography, but of emphasizing that it is not necessarily how sex is for everyone. Some of my favorite tidbits of information readers can find while scrolling through the homepage compares the norms regarding pubic hair and gagging while performing oral sex in pornography and real world.

Stand with Planned Parenthood

2011-02-18T15:53:00.003-06:00

The House of Representatives has voted to cut all federal funding for Planned Parenthood.

By law, federal funds haven’t paid for abortions since the 1970s, so the House hasn’t voted to cut abortion funding. They’re cutting funding for the entire Title X program — funding for contraception, cancer screening, STI tests, sex education, mammograms, HIV testing and diagnosis, and pregnancy screening and counseling. Title X is the only federal program dedicated solely to providing individuals with comprehensive family planning and preventive health services, particularly low-income families. Last year, 5 million people benefited from the services funded by Title X.

Planned Parenthood is the target of this legislation, and American women the primary victims. This isn’t about abortion — it’s about cutting access to health care for women.

Take action against what could have hugely detrimental effects for women's health care. Sign Planned Parenthood's "open letter to every single representative in the House who voted for this cruel, unconscionable, unthinkable law, and to every senator who still has a chance to stop it."

Update: Women in Publishing

2011-02-11T19:14:00.007-06:00

I have written before about the fact that significantly less female than male authors have their work reviewed in major publications.Well, some number crunching has been done since I last posted about this topic and it seems like the disparity does not originate with the reviewers, but with the publishers.

...These numbers we found show that the magazines are reviewing female authors in something close to the proportion of books by women published each year. The question now becomes why more books by women are not getting published.

It is unclear why less women are getting published but it seems to have something to do with a possible bias in literary journals.

Of the new writing published in Tin House, Granta,and The Paris Review, around one-third of it was by women. For many fiction writers and poets, publishing in these journals is a first step to getting a book contract. Do women submit work to these magazines at a lower rate than men, or are men’s submissions more likely to get accepted? We can’t be sure. But, as Robin Romm writes in Double X, “The gatekeepers of literary culture—at least at magazines—are still primarily male.” If these gatekeepers are showing a gender bias, there’s not much room to make it up later.

While it is unfortunate to hear that female authors are not properly represented, I am happy to hear that people are trying to get to the bottom of the disparity.

Men's Health Feminist Blog

2011-02-01T21:22:00.004-06:00

This made my day.

Yeah, you read that right: Men’s Health magazine, full of “how
to have better sex” and “how to lose the belly fat!” advice for men, has a blog
for men about feminism. This unequivocally rocks for three reasons.

First, it’s a sign that the feminist blogosphere has moved into the
mainstream. When feminist verticals like Broadsheet and Double X are either
disappearing or folding back into their original publications, it’s a good
indicator for the future that a mainstream popular men’s magazine has taken up
the feminist cause.

Second, hopefully a blog like this can help de-stigmatize the label “feminist” for readers.
...

Finally, the blog could help bring men to the movement. For men, feminism and what it entails is rarely discussed outside of a historical context...

You can read the Men's Health Feminist Blog here.

Miss Representation: Taking on Objectification of Women in Media

2011-01-26T20:39:00.003-06:00

The film Miss Representation (currently being screened at Sundance) addresses the sexualization and objectification of women in media and how this relates to the oppression of women in general.

I am personally really excited about seeing the film but Jezebel commentator Irin is wary of the trailer as it

paints a rather broad brush (and yes, trailers are wont to do this — we'll reserve final judgment til we see the actual movie), seemingly uncritically describing all public displays of sexuality as inherently demeaning. It's not that Britney Spears has nothing to do with how female politicians are treated on cable news, but conflating voluntary displays of sexiness in entertainment with demeaning sexualization of public figures, played over ominous music no less, is unnuanced. So are the vague references to the "media" and "Hollywood" as faceless, catchall entities.

Thoughts?

Santorum: Obama's Race Should Shape Abortion View

2011-01-20T19:48:00.004-06:00

This is fucking infuriating.

Former Sen. Rick Santorum says it is surprising that the nation's first black president is willing to deny civil rights to fetuses.

Santorum, who is a potential Republican presidential challenger to President Barack Obama in 2012, linked civil rights with abortion during an interview posted Thursday with the Christian Broadcasting Network. Santorum, who lost his 2006 Senate re-election bid in Pennsylvania, is an outspoken critic of abortion rights.

Santorum notes that for decades, slavery allowed African-Americans to be treated like property. And he says fetuses are denied the right to life because they are considered property.

Santorum says he is disappointed that Obama, a former law professor, refuses to treat fetuses as humans under the Constitution.

The White House declined to comment on Santorum's criticism.

The comparison between the Civil Rights movement (which was about gaining rights) and the anti-choice movement (which is about stripping away the right women have to their own bodies) is ridiculous and upsetting.

Gay Parenting Most Common in South

2011-01-18T21:55:00.002-06:00

This article is very interesting and enlightening on a number of levels.

In addition, the data show, child rearing among same-sex couples is more common in the South than in any other region of the country, according to Gary Gates, a demographer at the University of California, Los Angeles. Gay couples in Southern states like Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi and Texas are more likely to be raising children than their counterparts on the West Coast, in New York and in New England.

The pattern, identified by Mr. Gates, is also notable because the families in this region defy the stereotype of a mainstream gay America that is white, affluent, urban and living in the Northeast or on the West Coast.

“We’re starting to see that the gay community is very diverse,” said Bob Witeck, chief executive of Witeck-Combs Communications, which helped market the census to gay people. “We’re not all rich white guys.”

My first reaction is to hope that the fact that the South is home to the most gay parents will serve as a wake up call to residents of other states that consider themselves progressive but aren't forcing their state legislatures to make a real push for gay rights (I am looking at you, New York). What are your reactions? What stood out to you about these findings?

U.S. Racial Disparities in Health

2011-01-13T15:58:00.002-06:00

File this under unsurprising, but nonetheless upsetting, news: a recent federal report found that the poor and racial and ethnic minorities are less healthy than their more affluent, white counterparts.

The agency did not delve into why suffering is so disproportionate, other than to note the obvious: that the poor, the uninsured and the less educated tend to live shorter, sicker lives...

“Some of the figures, like the suicide rate for young American Indians, are just heartbreaking,” said Dr. Thomas R. Frieden, the C.D.C. director, who ordered the report compiled.

He ordered it, he said, after promising at his agency’s African American History Month celebration last February that he would do so.

“We wanted to shine a spotlight on the problem and some potential solutions,” he said.

Many of the differences are large and striking

To find out more detailed information on the report's findings, click here.

Bad News from Somalia

2011-01-12T22:00:00.003-06:00

A Somali town has banned women from working.

On Tuesday, the Al shabaab administration in southern Somalia's Kismayo town banned women from working — despite the imperative of providing for their families. Al shabab, the islamist insurgent group, has imposed a strict form of Sharia law over much of southern Somalia.

This is bad news not just for the women who are being oppressed by this, but for the Somalia economy in general. Giving women economic power is proven smart economics yet sexism has overridden both good ethics and good business strategy here. Here's hoping the town reverses this ridiculous ban soon.

Guy Talk

2011-01-04T21:39:00.003-06:00

I will be up front. I’m upset. If you disagree with me or feel I jumped to conclusions, feel free to comment. Maybe we can make something constructive of this.

I suppose most people in America are familiar with the term “girl talk”. This term is generally associated with women who get together to talk, most often to complain about men.

Well, a week ago I got a peek at what one young man called “guy talk.” Here is a rough transcription of the entire exchange between two men who are in committed, monogamous relationships:

Man 1: So how’s your woman? You haven’t told me much about her.
Man 2: She’s great. She’s thin, blond, and loves sex.
Man 1: Sounds like you should keep her around.
Man 2: Yeah, I will. She takes care of me, too. How’s your woman?
Man 1: We’ve been fighting a lot but I don’t want to get rid of her.
Man 2: Man, don’t you hate that?
Man 1: Yeah, and the sex is great. Makes it even harder to get rid of her.

People will ask me what’s so bad about this. Why am I making such a big deal about this? This is normal, it’s…guy talk. And that is the problem. I called Man 2 out about this behavior and he said just that, “What? It’s guy talk.” I know that people like to talk about sex. Besides the fact that I live in a society where productive, meaningful discussions about sex are practically nonexistent, the above conversation bothers me because it reminds me that certain men only know how to talk about women with other men in terms that verbally turn women into objects. Why stay with her? Well, the sex is great. Never mind anything else. Her sex is what she’s good for, otherwise she's disposable.

If men are taught that it is acceptable to speak about women as if they are nothing but their bodies, their looks, the sex they can give to men, if they are taught that this kind of dialog is normal and should be expected among men, then we are living in a world where many forms of oppression of women are possible.

This small exchange, this seemingly insignificant act puts a mask of normacly over the idea, whether consciously agreed with or not, that women are objects, not humans, good only for things like sex and pleasing men, and they can be gotten rid of if the getting isn't good enough.

It doesn’t matter if you’re like Man 2 and you “bought roses for her because she had a bad day” and you “hold doors open for her”. If you think talking about women in this way is acceptable you are helping to uphold a society where women are still, in many ways, treated like they are inferior. Talk opens doors. What doors are we holding open if we think it’s acceptable for our male friends to talk about their girlfriends like this?

Boycott American Women campaign hits Female Impersonator

2010-12-30T13:49:00.001-06:00

An American man has decided that he's had enough of American Women and he's been sending in comments to this blog to encourage American men to join him in his boycott of American women.

Of course, none of this comments have appeared on this blog. And they never will.

But this was written about on Jezebel, so I thought I'd let our readers know of the nonsense that I've been getting in my comment moderation queue.

Muslim Women in U.S. Gain Higher Profile

2010-12-29T08:19:00.004-06:00

A recent New York Times article explores the role of Muslim women in the U.S. The article maintains an overall positive tilt, emphasizing how successful Muslim women in America are. The author does a pretty good job of alluding to the discrimination Muslim women face in America and the discrepancies between their empowerment and some of their religion's doctrine. However, the hardships these women must face is perhaps understated in the overall celebratory tone. I am including an excerpt below, but I would love to hear thoughts and impressions from people who have had a chance to read the whole thing.

These [American Muslim] women have achieved a level of success and visibility unmatched elsewhere. They say they are molded by the freedoms of the United States — indeed, many unabashedly sing its praises — and by the intellectual ferment stirred when American-born and immigrant Muslims mix.

“What we’re seeing now in America is what has been sort of a quiet or informal empowerment of women,” said Shireen Zaman, executive director of the Institute for Social Policy and Understanding, a nonprofit research institute founded after the 2001 attacks to provide research on American Muslims. “In many of our home countries, socially or politically it would’ve been harder for Muslim women to take a leadership role. It’s actually quite empowering to be Muslim in America.”

As Najah Bazzy, a American-born nurse and founder of several charities in Michigan, put it: “Yeah I’m Arab, yeah I’m very American, and yeah I’m very Islamic, but you put those things in the blender and I’m no longer just a thing. I’m a new thing.”

It is not always easy. Several of the Muslim women interviewed for this article said they had been the object of abusive letters, e-mails or blog posts.

Yet in their quest to break stereotypes, America’s Muslim women have advantages. They are better educated than counterparts in Western Europe, and also than the average American, according to a Gallup survey in March 2009. In contrast to their sisters in countries like Egypt and Saudi Arabia, they are just as likely as their menfolk to attend religious services, which equates to greater influence. And Gallup found that Muslim American women, often entrepreneurial, come closer than women of any other faith to earning what their menfolk do.

“Muslims coming to North America are often seeking an egalitarian version of Islam,” said Ebrahim Moosa, an associate professor of Islamic studies at Duke University. “That forces women onto the agenda and makes them much more visible than, say, in Western Europe.”

Via Racialicious

Access to Emergency Abortion Care Threatened

2010-12-28T21:03:00.005-06:00

A recent case highlights the importance of emergency abortion care and the threat religiously affiliated hospitals can pose to providing women with this necessary service:

"...A hospital in Phoenix, St. Joseph’s Hospital and Medical Center, provided a life-saving abortion to a young mother of four children who was dying from pulmonary hypertension and was 11 weeks pregnant...Last week, the Bishop in Phoenix threatened to strip St. Joseph’s of its status as an official Catholic hospital unless St. Joseph’s agreed to sign a written pledge that it would not perform another life-saving abortion. The diocese made good on that threat yesterday, and stripped St. Joseph’s of its endorsement after the hospital defended its actions. As Amie Newman of RH Reality Check discussed last night, St. Joseph’s refused to agree to allow their patients to die. The hospital said, “Morally, ethically, and legally we simply cannot stand by and let someone die whose life we might be able to save.”

St. Joseph’s did the right thing by standing up for women’s health. But the Phoenix bishop’s actions send a chilling message to other Catholic hospitals in the country: if they save women’s lives by providing emergency abortion care, there will be consequences. This could have a profound impact on women's health care throughout the country, especially given that the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops also recently reaffirmed that even life-saving abortions cannot be performed in Catholic hospitals across the country.

To learn more about how individuals and institutions may deny patients health care on ideological grounds, click here. To tell the Obama administration that you want this issue to be made a priority, click here.

Female Authors 2010

2010-12-27T07:03:00.005-06:00

It is no secret that modern literary culture favors men, but in 2010 women might have finally made major publications do something about their bias.

It started when Jodi Picoult (followed by Jennifer Weiner) took to twitter, complaining about the fact that female authors are given significantly less notice by prominent critics. Subsequent research found that the numbers confirm Picoult's charge- Times Book Review does give far less space to novels written by women than to those by their male counterparts.

After being so publicly called on their sexism, influential review publications have taken note of the female authors they have ignored for so long in their best of 2010 lists. Times' and Salon's lists prominently featured books written by women, and the National Book Awards had four female finalists out of five.

Thoughts? Have you read any 2010 publications written by women that you would recommend? I myself am currently making my way through Courtney E. Martin's Do it Anyway: The New Generation of Activists. Martin's book explores the causes and biographies of eight young activists in a reverent, but still critical way. If you get the chance to read it it is definitely worth your time.

Senate repeals Don't Ask Don't Tell

2010-12-18T19:21:00.004-06:00

The United States Senate voted 65-31 in favor of repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell today.

I am smiling.

(via Shakesville)

EDIT: And Obama signed the appeal.

Update on My Life (Because I Know You Were Wondering)

2010-12-13T15:48:00.005-06:00

Just writing to apologize for how little I have posted lately. Finals are starting over here and I probably won't be able to post regularly again for a little over a week. Just know that I miss my impersonated community very much. Hopefully you and I will be comforted with some posts from my lovely co-bloggers in the meantime.

To tide you over until my return to the blogosphere, here are some of the things that I have been reading to procrastinate studying that you might find worthy of procrastinating with as well:

Jessica Valenti on the Assange case

Chloe's thoughts on Glee

Latest from NYT's "Women at Arms" series

December 6th was the anniversary of the Montreal Massacre (thanks to my roommate for reminding me about this)

First two openly trans judges in the U.S. were appointed last month

And another amazing feminist friend of mine just brought this piece by Andrea Gibson to my attention.

LGBT books vandalized with urine

2010-12-13T13:35:00.002-06:00

Around 40 books about same sex marriage and gay and lesbian issues were found to be vandalized with what appears to be urine in Lamont Library at Harvard University. The incident is being investigated as a hate crime.

Marco Chan '11, co-chair of the Harvard College Queer frustrating" and "disconcerting," and said that it represents a Students and Allies, called the incident "extremely concern not only for the LGBT community, but for the Harvard community at large.

"I am very outraged. It is hard to conceive this as a coincidence when there are 40 books on the same subject," Chan said. "The message that this incident sent to me is that we need more resources not only for the LGBT community but also targeted towards other people."

Chan suggested workshops on homosexual, bisexual, and transsexual issues—similar to the mandatory freshman orientation event Sex Signals—as one possible way to respond to the bias evidenced by the incident.

(via Feministing)

Civil union bill passes IL House and Senate

2010-12-01T15:16:00.001-06:00

Good news from my home state today.

The Illinois House and Senate have both passed SB1716, the "Illinois Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Union Act" which would give gay couples similar rights and legal status to other married couples. It is now up to Governor Pat Quinn to sign the bill into law.

For more, read here.

Feminist Break-Ups

2010-11-29T17:44:00.006-06:00

My roommate from this summer/one of my favorite feminists just brought to my attention this really sweet article about how to deal with a break up while feminist. I would summarize, but I will let the author win you over herself with the below excerpt:

How To Get Through the Feeling Betrayed / Feeling Sorry for Yourself / "My Life Sucks And Nobody Has Ever Been In As Much Pain As I Have" Phase:

Sisterhood
In this garbage dump of a situation, I realized I have an AMAZING group of friends. ...They made me laugh, they let me cry. Which made me realize how important the feminist value of sisterhood is...it's so important to have a close group of girl friends that will get you through to the other end and keep you on track no matter how trivial the problem you're dealing with seems in the scheme of things.

My Relationship with my Mom/Other Female Role Model
Strong women role models – in this case, my Mommy – helped me (and can help you) remember that even when other people act in ways that are pretty low, you can still hold yourself to a higher standard and rise above them.

How To Move On To Empowerment

Set Yourself Aside and Focus on Other People

Settle Your Karmic Score
I realized that while I was hurting, I had hurt other people. Without going into it, freshman year my two best friends and I had a huge fight. Stupid freshman that I was I walked away thinking that I was the only one who had been hurt. It took nearly 3 years and some heartbreak to figure out I may have hurt them, too. I began to realize the people I had designated "good" and the people I had designated "bad" were turning out to all be in the wrong categories and set out to fix it.

Now. Maybe I didn't react to this experience in the most feminist way. Maybe instead of focusing so much on this one incident I should have channeled that energy into rallying for a more important cause. Instead of curling up in the fetal position, I probably should have volunteered for Planned Parenthood or something. And maybe this advice isn't even the most feminist guide ever. But sometimes life, emotions and just being a freakin' teenager interfere with perfect feminist theory. And when that happens, this is what I have learned: be a kind human being. Treat others the way you want to be treated. When you slip up and do something bad to somebody else, own up to it and make it right. When somebody does something bad to you, try to maintain your integrity and look inwards toward your own strength and outwards towards a future where you are a stronger person for the pain. Because in the end, that's essentially what feminism is.

I highly recommend you read her full article, which elaborates on all of her advice and details her own recent break-up experience.

Please share your own feminist break up advice (for any or all genders) in comments.

Setback for Paycheck Fairness

2010-11-21T14:48:00.003-06:00

Apparently our senate is not making wage discrimination a priority:

A bill aimed at stamping out wage discrimination was blocked Wednesday as too few senators voted to move forward with the legislation, the Wall Street Journal reported Nov. 17. The Paycheck Fairness Act was short by two votes.

The bill passed in the U.S. House of Representatives last year and would have amended the Equal Pay Act to limit the defense that employers can use to respond to charges of wage discrimination based on sex, among other actions. In a press statement, Secretary of Labor Hilda L. Solis said she would continue fighting for the legislation so "women are not treated as second class citizens by employers who refuse to compensate them in a fair and equitable manner."

You know what to do, contact your senator and tell them that you want them to stand up for equal pay.

Today is International Transgender Day of Remembrance

2010-11-20T18:30:00.003-06:00

Today, please remember to memorialize trans people who been murdered because of prejudice. For more information and to learn about steps you can take to stop hate crimes against trans men and women, click here.

Feminism and Men

2010-11-16T08:17:00.003-06:00

Tired of hearing how advances for women can only mean an impending "End of Men"? Well, so is Hugo Schwyzer at the Guardian. He wrote a great article about what feminist advances may mean for men, my favorite bit of which can be found below.

Traditionalists warn that women who exercise "too much" sovereignty over their bodies (by utilising contraception, availing themselves of abortion or new reproductive technologies) risk making men irrelevant. And men who feel irrelevant will behave like perpetual teenagers, refusing to make lasting commitments, cheerful in the certainty that whatever happens sexually, a "woman will take care of things".

We socialise women to be afraid of one thing more than anything else: being alone. The anti-feminist opponents of progress are masters at exploiting that fear, urging women to resist the siren song of technologically assisted autonomy lest they find themselves growing old without a man. The anecdotal evidence that a great many men in Britain and the US do seem stuck in what the scholar Michael Kimmel calls "Guyland" – an enduring adolescence that seems to last decades – seems to legitimate the shrill jeremiads of the traditionalists.

But the opponents of progress are wrong.

Leaving aside their wrongness on the larger questions of women's autonomy and reproductive ethics, they're wrong about men. They're wrong in their insistence that with female vulnerability, men will rise to responsibility, while without it, men will invariably sink down to drifting, predatory fecklessness. While it is absolutely true that we've raised men to believe that their worth is contingent on how well they take of vulnerable women, it's also undeniably true that traditional gender roles have exacted an enormous cost from men.

Male privilege is not a guarantor of either happiness or health, and trying desperately to play the part of protector and provider has robbed generations of men of both. Feminism, in concert with these many new and exciting reproductive and contraceptive technologies, offers men a chance to rethink and re-evaluate their worth and their purpose. It offers them an opportunity to be intimate allies with their female partners, to forge relationships based on more than duty and dependency. It gives men a chance to be loved for the wholeness of who we are, rather than solely for what we can provide.

I am so glad that there are voices against the outdated "traditionalist" thinking Hugo cites. To read more about traditionalism and why it is short-sighted, read the full article here.

Fitness is Not Necessarily Thinness

2010-11-15T10:03:00.003-06:00

Morning Gloria over at Jezebel wrote a great piece railing against America's obsession with weight as a measure of fitness, something I have complained about (in a less articulate way) in the past.

There are lots of great parts of the piece which I suggest you read in its entirety, but you can get the jist through the below summary.

I bought a women's fitness magazine the other day and almost every page equated fitness with losing weight. Get bikini ready in seven days! Lose 12 pounds by tomorrow by doing these three exercises! Hungry? Eat seven almonds! Fuck that.

Your body was made for so much more than being looked at, deprived of food, and enjoyed by others. Your body was made for kicking some ass.

...

Discussing exercise or athleticism is tricky in the context of body acceptance; we're told the only reason we'd possibly want to exercise is to have a sexy body or to be smaller or more in line with what society has determined is an acceptable size.

...

You guys. This is bullshit. Physical fitness doesn't have to be about anyone else but you or about anything else but becoming stronger. It's time we stopped associated exercise with a form of conformity and surrender, because do so is to deprive yourself of the potential that your body offers you.

Women Underrepresented in Management

2010-11-11T14:53:00.008-06:00

According to a government report, the number of women in managing positions only increased a lousy one percent (from 39 to 40 percent) between 2000 and 2007. This is especially ridiculous considering that women are now the majority in colleges and universities and comprise 46.8% of the labor force.

Nanette Fondas at the Ms. Magazine blog has a fitting acronym to explain why: W.O.M.E.N.

W- "Work-family spillover"

O-"lack of Open, flexible work options"

M-"Masculine model of the 'ideal' worker"

E-"Evaluations of performance punish use of flexible work policies"

N-"No time for activism"

To learn more about the meaning behind the acronym, read Nanette's full post here.

I Heart Tina Fey

2010-11-10T11:56:00.003-06:00

Tina Fey, on the occasion of winning the Mark Twain award for comedy, took on the myth that having any women in politics is good regardless of whether they enact anti-woman policies.

Right-wing women, said Tina Fey last night, are great for all women, "unless you don't want to pay for your own rape kit...[or] you're a lesbian who wants to get married to your partner of 20 years."

I know there has been some criticism of Ms. Fey in the feminist blogosphere lately- but I think we can all agree that this comment is badass.

Positive Results of the Midterm Election

2010-11-04T05:29:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I have spent a good amount of time since the midterm elections bemoaning some of the douchebags who made it in to office. However, in this post I would like to focus on the positive for the sake of both my sanity and the sanity of all my fellow feminists out there.

First of all, "a historic 106 openly gay candidates have been elected to office this year." Yay for political views, not homophobia, dictating how people vote!

Secondly, Colarado luckily voted down "the so-called 'personhood' amendment, which would define 'personhood' as beginning at 'biological development' in an underhanded attempt to restrict women’s access to safe abortion services and reduce their reproductive agency." Yay Colarado for standing up for a woman's right to choose!

Please leave more positive results of the midterm election in comments.

Obama on Gay Rights

2010-10-28T20:11:00.005-05:00

Given my recent post on President Obama's It Gets Better video and the thoughtful opinions voiced in the comments section, I have started thinking more about Obama on gay rights. He made a lot of promises that convinced a lot of the gay community and straight allies to vote his way in 2008 that he has yet to follow through on. The most obvious example of this is, of course, Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT). Obama promised to do away with this outdated and homophobic military policy. However, in 2010 he is still dragging his feet about it despite a federal judge's order to stop enforcing DADT and the fact that 78% of Americans are actually in favor of repealing it.

But recently Obama has implied that he might be adopting more gay-friendly policies:

"I have been to this point unwilling to sign on to same-sex marriage primarily because of my understandings of the traditional definitions of marriage. But I also think you’re right that attitudes evolve, including mine," Obama said in response to a question from Joe Subday of Americablog.

"I think that it is an issue that I wrestle with and think about because I have a whole host of friends who are in gay partnerships. I have staff members who are in committed, monogamous relationships, who are raising children, who are wonderful parents. And I care about them deeply," Obama continued. "And so while I’m not prepared to reverse myself here, sitting in the Roosevelt Room at 3:30 in the afternoon, I think it’s fair to say that it’s something that I think a lot about. That’s probably the best you’ll do out of me today."

Later, Obama seemed to suggest that legalization of gay marriage is inevitable. "The one thing I will say today is I think it’s pretty clear where the trend lines are going," he added.

My first reaction is to be hopeful that Obama is becoming the stand-up guy I always wished he would be. On the other hand, the cynical side of me is thinking that midterm elections are coming up and he might just be trying to tease the gay community into voting his way on November 2nd.

What do you think? Do Obama's recent comments reveal a change for the better for gay community or a just more false promises?

Obama Makes "It Gets Better" Video

2010-10-25T16:36:00.005-05:00

I have been compulsively watching "It Gets Better" videos, and am super excited that President Obama made one.

Thoughts on what Obama says or doesn't say here? Do you have a favorite "It Gets Better" video?

My personal favorite is Tim Gunn's (and not just because I watch too much Project Runway).

To learn more about the It Gets Better Project and watch some videos click here.

Dan Savage advice: "total shit"

2010-10-22T20:10:00.006-05:00

**Trigger warning: sexual assault and victim-blaming **

Dan Savage, who writes a nationally syndicated advice column on sexuality and sex, makes me wonder, what the hell was he thinking?

A woman in an open marriage wrote in to Savage explaining that five months ago a former partner had sexually assaulted her and since then she has found herself unable to be intimate with her husband, saying that his attempts to initiate sex made her "skin crawl". At the same time, however, she has not been having any trouble being intimate with her boyfriend, and even said that sex with him "is amazing and leaves [her] feeling loved and whole and wonderful."

The woman said that this situation left her husband feeling "depressed" and "angry" and that he told her to stop sleeping with her boyfriend until their marriage was "back to normal." This woman expressed hesitation about leaving her boyfriend, saying it pained her "to think about cutting out the one positive relationship remaining."

Savage responded, among other things:

"You're being a total shit."

That is a direct quote.

via Deeky at Shakesville, whose post I suggest everyone read as well.

Gloria Steinem Defends Young Feminists

2010-10-21T06:15:00.003-05:00

Despite the fact that the interviewer was obviously trying to make Gloria say a disparaging remark about young feminism, in this interview she says she respects young feminists and that we are not all apathetic "bimbos."

It feels so good to get recognition from such an iconic 2nd wave feminist, particularly when I constantly see the media saying people my age don't care about women's rights.

My favorite Steinem quote from the interview: "I am something of a hopeaholic." So great.

Victim-Blaming Travesty of the Day

2010-10-16T06:10:00.003-05:00

**Trigger warning for description of sexual assault**

As we have written before, victim-blaming in cases of sexual assault is an all too common practice. And this bullshit is even worse than usual.

High school football star Rakheem Bolton and two others were indicted for sexual assault of a child–identified only as H.S.–at a post-game party in 2008. According to H.S.–a fellow student and cheerleader at Silsbee High–Bolton, football player Christian Rountree and another juvenile male forced her into a room, locked the door, held her down and sexually assaulted her. When other party-goers tried to get into the room, two of the men fled through an open window, including Bolton, who left clothing behind. Bolton allegedly threatened to shoot the occupants of the house when the homeowner refused to return his clothes.

In September 2010, Bolton pled guilty to a lesser charge of Class A Assault and was sentenced to one year in prison, a sentence that was suspended by the judge in lieu of two years probation, a $2,500 fine, community service and an anger management course.

Silsbee school officials had two responses to the incident. First, they urged H.S. to keep a low profile, such as avoiding the school cafeteria and not taking part in homecoming activities. With the support of her family, she refused to do so, rejecting the notion that she had anything to be ashamed of. Secondly, school officials kicked her off the cheerleading squad for refusing to cheer for Bolton. No kidding.

Bolton had been allowed back on campus during a brief period when one grand jury withdrew the charges before another grand jury reinstated them. During a basketball game, H.S. cheered for the entire team but refused to cheer “Rakheem” during his free-throws, so she was off the squad.

H.S.’s parents sued the school for violating her right to free speech, but an appeals court dismissed her case earlier this month.

Please get angry about this and contact the school superintendent and principle.

Top Ten Bestselling Books by Men (Again)

2010-10-14T15:09:00.002-05:00

From a feminist perspective, there are very few good things to say about the Twilight series. However, one of them is that Stephanie Meyer was a rare female presence on the bestseller lists. Now, the top ten books are once again all written by men.

So let's take this opportunity to promote some contemporary female authors we like. My personal favorite? Sarah Dessen.

Kick Ass Woman of the Day

2010-10-10T17:31:00.000-05:00

This article about Ingrid Bengis-Palei is worth reading all the way through. In the 1970's she wrote a book called Combat in the Erogenous Zone which "detail[ed] her efforts to come to grips with feminism and the sexual revolution, exploring “man hating,” lesbianism and love." Now she is the owner of Ingrid Bengis Seafood.

Study: No Mental Health Problems in Teens who Terminate Pregnancy

2010-10-09T04:46:00.003-05:00

Contrary to what the anti-choicers want you to think, a recent study shows that teens who decide to terminate their pregnancy are no more likely to have mental health problems than teens who do not choose abortion.

In a study conducted by Jocelyn T. Warren of Oregon State University et al., young women who have abortions are no more likely than teenagers who do not end their pregnancies to have low self-esteem or become depressed during their pregnancy or five years later. This study is available online (PDF) and will also be in the December issue of Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health. This nationwide study is the first to examine the potential outcome of depression and low self-esteem in a representative sample of teens who have induced abortions.

...

Currently, 34 states (PDF) require women receive counseling before an abortion is performed. Seven states require women be warned of the possible negative psychological consequences resulting from induced abortions. The authors of the study suggest possible harm resulting from a counseling requirement:

Paradoxically laws mandating that women considering abortion be advised of its psychological risks may jeopardize women’s health by adding unnecessary anxiety and undermining women’s right to informed consent.

Now that the supposed mental health risks of having an abortion have been debunked for women and teenagers, states should act to lift any requirements of sharing inaccurate information before obtaining abortion care.

Who is Responsible for Preventing Assault?

2010-10-07T12:07:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday a young woman from Austin, Texas was standing at a bus stop. While she waited for the school bus a man approached her from behind and grabbed her. When the young woman screamed the man ran away. The young woman's school then sent a letter home to parents encouraging them to speak to their children about safe practices including walking in groups, not speaking to strangers and informing adults if a stranger approaches.

Now I am all for telling young people to be aware of their surroundings and encouraging them to be safe. What bothers me about the advice in the school's letter is that it implies the young woman was somehow to blame for the man assaulting her. If only she hadn't been standing at that bus stop alone. If only she had done this, if only she had done that, this would never have happened to her.

We need to stop blaming women for what men choose to do. The conversation really needs to be about how we can teach men to respect women and their bodily autonomy. We need to be encouraging men to take responsibility for their actions rather than blaming women for standing at a bus stop alone.

Feminist Crush of the Day

2010-10-06T07:44:00.003-05:00

This woman is everything I want to be.

Robinson and her family were riding back from Cardiff when a group of drunk football fans started yelling "sexist chants" at another woman. When Robinson complained, she says, "their chanting became directly to me and it became sexist and quite obscene." She asked the train's driver to call the police, but he refused, so she got off the train and onto the track, where she remained until the police were called and train service was terminated. Robinson says, "This is my community, this is my village. We're not going to be bullied and certainly for women and families, they should be able to travel on the train in peace and quiet and go about their business without being bullied like that."

The British Transport Police they are investigating the incident and may punish the football fans. And, says MP Wayne David, "No member of the public should be subject to abuse of this kind and it must never happen again."

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2010-10-04T10:08:00.002-05:00

Cancer is the second most common cause of death for women in the U.S. October has been designated as a month to raise awareness about a particularly deadly form of cancer that is overwhelmingly seen in women- breast cancer.

You can learn more about breast cancer, including common myths about it and how to detect it early, here.

Awesome Poet to Know

2010-10-02T15:48:00.001-05:00

So I was youtubing slam poetry and found this amazing work. Please watch it and fall in love with Katie Makkai like I did.

Schwarzenegger Vetoes Bill That Prohibited Shackling of Pregnant Prisoners

2010-09-29T11:32:00.000-05:00

This is outrageous. If you are pregnant and in a California jail, you just might be shackled when you are transported between facilities. AB1900 would have ended this practice. In fact it faced no opposition and passed the Legislature without a single no vote. According to Governor Schwarzenegger, the bill was outside the scope of the duties of the Corrections Standards Authority (CSA). Schwarzenegger said:

CSA's mission is to regulate and develop standards for correctional facilities, not establish policies on transportation issues to and from other locations.

It seems that transporting prisoners would be a part of operating a correctional facility and by extension would be a necessary aspect of the regulations and standards they develop. In any case I have never understood the logic of this practice. It seems unreasonable to assume that a pregnant woman will just magically escape her guards.

Women in the Labor Movement

2010-09-28T16:36:00.000-05:00

Last week I attended a press conference at the Albuquerque, New Mexico office of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers. From my seat I had a great view of a beautiful mural and it got me thinking about the labor movement.

You may have heard of César Chávez co-founder of the National Farm Workers Association, which later became the United Farm Workers (UFW). If you do not recognize his name, I know you’ve heard his slogan: "Sí, se puede.”

Who you may not have heard of is Dolores Huerta, Chavez’s co-founder.

Huerta was born Dolores Clara Fernandez, on April 10, 1930 in northern New Mexico. Her father, Juan Fernández, was a farm worker, miner and union activist who would be elected to the New Mexico legislature in 1938. In the mid-1930s Juan and Dolores’ mother Alicia Fernández divorced. Huerta then moved with her mother and siblings to Stockton, in northern California's San Joaquin Valley.

In 1955, Dolores co-founded the Stockton chapter of the Community Service Organization. Through her work she met CSO Executive Director, Cesar Chavez. The two soon realized that they shared a common vision: to organize farm workers.

In the spring of 1962, César and Dolores resigned from the CSO and launched the National Farm Workers Association. Dolores’ organizing skills were invaluable to the development of the organization. Despite her hard work, the obstacles she faced as a woman did not go unnoticed. In a letter to Chavez she joked…”Being a now (ahem) experienced lobbyist, I am able to speak on a man-to-man basis with other lobbyists.”

In 1965 Huerta directed the United Farm Workers’ national grape boycott, which launched her into a fast-paced period of negotiating contracts, lobbying, organizing boycotts and strikes and spearheading farmworker political activities.

She now serves as President of the Dolores Huerta Foundation. You can read more about her organizing work here and you can find out more about women in the labor movement here.

The Latest in Transphobia

2010-09-28T02:50:00.002-05:00

I am really upset whenever I hear someone was a victim of transphobia, but it especially saddens me when they are so young and are being marginalized by supposed grown-ups who are supposed to care about them.

A Michigan teen was voted homecoming king by his classmates, but his school then stripped him of the title. Their rationale: he's still registered as a girl.

According to Wood TV, Mona Shores High School in Muskegon, Michigan had in some ways accepted seventeen-year-old Oakleigh "Oak" Reed as a boy. Says Reed, "They let me wear a male tux for band uniform, and they're going to let me wear the male robe and cap for graduation." Teachers, he adds, "call me Oak, and they say, he, him, his." And when he campaigned for homecoming king (by simply posting the message "Vote for me for homecoming king" on Facebook), he won. But then he was summoned to the principal's office. Says Reed, "They told me that they took me off because they had to invalidate all of my votes because I'm enrolled at Mona Shores as a female."

NYTimes Highlights First Openly Gay Minister

2010-09-19T12:36:00.003-05:00

Before reading today's article in the NYT about Rev. James Stoll, one of the first openly gay ministers, I had never heard of him. His story is an inspiring one. It is also a reminder that a lot of people who devote their lives to making the world a little fairer are forgotten and/or not appreciated enough in their lifetimes.

So please, take a moment to read the story. Then take a moment to thank someone in your life who is working to make the world better.

Greetings!

2010-09-18T13:52:00.002-05:00

My name is Kyle and Amelia has graciously invited me to contribute to Female Impersonator. Before I post anything substantive I wanted to introduce myself and make a note about privilege.

I know you are wondering because our culture teaches us to categorize people. So yes, I am female. And you do pronounce my name like the boy's name. Now that we have that out of the way, I can give you some background about me!

I am a Michigander and I attended the University of Michigan for undergrad. After graduation I moved as far away from snow as I could get. I spent the next five amazing years in Austin, Texas where I earned my law degree. And just recently I moved to New Mexico which definitely deserves its nickname: The Land of Enchantment.

I've helped organize productions of The Vagina Monologues, served on the board of directors of an abortion fund, and co-founded a chapter of Law Students for Reproductive Justice.

The opportunity to attend college and grad school, not to mention participate in all the activities listed above, are just some indicators of the unearned privilege I have in our society. I am a white, cisgender, middle class, presently able-bodied, American citizen by birth. This means I will make privilege-induced mistakes. It also means I welcome correction and criticism even though I know it isn't anyone else's responsibility to educate me.

I am quite excited to contribute to the discussion on this blog and I hope you all enjoy reading my musings.

Cheers for now!

Awesome Women Testify to End Archaic Definition of Rape

2010-09-18T13:46:00.002-05:00

Rape is a famously underreported crime. This is for many reasons, but one of them can be easily fixed: the Uniform Crime Report (UCR) definition of rape("the carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will") only applies to very specific instances of rape. This means that even when someone reports their sexual assault it may not be counted in rape statistics because it does not fit into this particular category.

Luckily, some awesome people have testafied before a Senate subcommittee in an effort to make the UCR definition all-encompassing.

Eleanor Smeal, president of the Feminist Majority Foundation, testified today before the Senate Committee on the Judiciary, Subcommittee on Crime and Drugs at its hearing "Rape in the United States: The Chronic Failure to Report and Investigate Rape Cases" and called for national reform in the reporting and investigating of rape crimes. Moreover, Smeal advocated the adoption of new federal policies to encourage the recruitment of law enforcement personnel with specialized education and skills in dealing with sexual assault and the recruitment and retention of more women in law enforcement.

"Yesterday, the federal government once again released a report citing a decrease in the incidence of rape. But American women should not be fooled," explained Smeal. "The narrow and out-dated definition of rape ("the carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will") in the Uniform Crime Report, first adopted in 1927, results in a significant undercounting of the actual number of rapes that are reported."

"The upshot of this narrow, archaic definition," continued Smeal, "is that many rapes are excluded from the Uniform Crime Report statistics - including forced anal sex and/or oral sex, vaginal or anal fisting, rape with an object (even if serious injuries result), and other injurious and degrading sexual assaults that would be considered rape by any rational adult." It also excludes statutory rape and omits rape by men against men and any rape by a woman. Moreover, this out-dated definition of rape excludes the use of drugs or alcohol to subdue a victim, a common tactic used today.

The National Crime Victimization Survey of the Bureau of Justice Statistics also significantly underreports rape. Although the NCVS definition is somewhat broader, it excludes rapes committed against victims under the age of 12, which some experts believe to be about 25% of all rapes.

Report: LGBTQ students face harassment, but we can help

2010-09-17T13:21:00.002-05:00

A recent study revealed some unsurprising, but nonetheless saddening data showing what hardships LGBTQ students must deal with.

...Nine of 10 [LGBTQ middle and high school students] reported experiencing harassment at their school within the past year based on their sexual orientation or gender identity, and two-thirds said they felt unsafe at school because of who they are. Nearly one-third skipped at least one day of school within the previous month because of concerns for their safety. Perhaps not surprisingly, locker rooms and bathrooms were locations of particular worry for LGBT students. Surely we as a country can and must do a better job of protecting these students and ensuring their rights to a first-class education free of fear of discrimination and harassment.

The report also included a list of factors in schools that have been shown to lead to better educational outcomes for LGBT students, as well as reductions in harassment, including the presence of supportive student clubs like GSAs, inclusive curriculum (a discussion of important LGBT figures in history, like Harvey Milk, for example), and supportive educators.

Despite the fact that LGBT students remain a particularly vulnerable population in schools, there is no explicit federal prohibition against discrimination and harassment of students based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Similar protections already exist for students based on race, color, sex, religion, disability or national origin, and it is long overdue for Congress to act to protect LGBT students.

Fortunately, there is legislation currently pending in Congress — the Student Non-Discrimination Act — that would protect students from discrimination and harassment in public schools based on their actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity and would provide victims with legal remedies. And the bill includes protections against anti-LGBT harassment, which is particularly important in light of the findings in the latest National School Climate Survey.

To find out more info as well as how to contact your member of Congress to encourage her or him to support the Student Non-Discrimination Act, click here.

Feminism is International

2010-09-16T05:27:00.003-05:00

First of all, I apologize for my lack of posting. I have been preparing to go abroad, then going abroad, and am now in Europe with internet and will resume posting.

In honor of my European adventures, I am encouraging our readers to get informed about some feminist legislation that could have a global impact.

This fall, the International Violence Against Women Act of 2010 (I-VAWA) is before Congress. This legislation is groundbreaking and needs our efforts to pass.

I-VAWA presents a critical opportunity for the United States government to aid other nations in protecting, defending and empowering the world’s women. As we feminist-minded social justice activists know, it is often the case that other nations’ sociopolitical climates have been influenced by some past or present U.S. policy or action. Call it reparations, call it consciousness-raising–I-VAWA is a ray of hope for certain parts of the globe.

The law would integrate violence prevention into U.S. foreign policy and support international in-country programs. As is the cases of Haiti, Darfur, the Democratic Republic of the Congo and Pakistan, incidents of extreme violence against women and girls in Guatemala goes largely unpunished.

To encourage your representative to support I-VAWA, click here.

Quick Blog Note

2010-09-13T15:25:00.001-05:00

Hi!

Just wanted to stop by and leave a quick note explaining that school has once again begun for me. It's my senior year at Knox College, and that means lots of 300-level classes and lots of hours of work to save up money to pay off impending student loans.

In addition to all that, I'll be working on several feminist projects on my campus all year. I may not be able to write as frequently as I have in the past, but I will be behind the scenes moderating comments and the like. And don't give up! You may very well hear from some of my other amazing co-bloggers.

And I already have a few post ideas brewing in my head, so maybe I will get those written sometime in the near future. Check back!

Lastly: If you're interested in blogging here, whether it's a one-time deal or a more permanent position, let me know [amelia(dot)impersonator(at)gmail(dot)com]. I would love to include more voices in this space, so if you have the time and the desire to contribute, we'd love to have you on board.

I wish the best to all our readers!

Federal court rules "Don't ask, don't tell" unconstitutional

2010-09-10T12:37:00.001-05:00

"Don't ask, don't tell," a policy that bars gays and lesbians from openly serving in the American military, was found unconstitutional by a federal court in California.

Via CNN:

"Plaintiff has demonstrated it is entitled to the relief sought on behalf of its members, a judicial declaration that the don't ask, don't tell act violates the Fifth and First Amendments, and a permanent injunction barring its enforcement," concluded U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips, a 1999 Clinton appointee.
...
"The act discriminates based on the content of the speech being regulated," Phillips wrote. "It distinguishes between speech regarding sexual orientation, and inevitably, family relationships and daily activities, by and about gay and lesbian servicemembers, which is banned, and speech on those subjects by and about heterosexual servicemembers, which is permitted."

While this ruling is likely to be in the appeal process for a while, Congress is still in a position to repeal DADT and make this ruling a reality in the military.

h/t

Alaska's Parental Notification Law

2010-09-09T10:29:00.002-05:00

This story has been making the rounds in the feminist blogosphere for awhile now, but I somehow missed it until my sister brought it to my attention a few days ago.

Apparently, in Alaska, if a woman is under the age of 18 she does not have the right to her own uterus.

The state [Alaska] also became the 35th state to require some kind of parental notification or consent for a minor to obtain an abortion. As Alex Gutierrez reported from the state itself, this measure was controversial. The total expenditures to fight and promote the measure combined totaled more than $1 million —that’s more than $2 per registered voter in the state.

...

Parental consent and notification laws are one of those things that are politically popular among conservative — and even moderate — voters. What I find dangerous about the law is that it taps into a stereotypical parental protective instinct, sort of a mom- or dad-knows-best mentality. Fundamentally, though this simply isn’t practical or good policy.

In some instances, girls and young women seek abortions because they have been sexually abused by one of their parents. A law that requires both parents to consent could potentially put a minor in an abusive relationship in danger. Opponents of the new Alaska law fear the new law cause confusion and teens seeking an abortion might see the restriction a straight-up ban. For some teens, seeking an abortion is terrifying enough without piling on restrictions. Furthermore, Alaska is an extremely remote place — getting to another state with better abortion access might be particularly difficult and expensive.

It seems to me that if advocates of this law were truly concerned about young women having someone be aware of the procedure in the event of complications, then they should require that she have an emergency contact person (not necessarily a parent). What this law is really saying is that a woman under the age of 18 does not have the mental capacity to decide to terminate her pregnancy on her own and therefore has to clear it with her guardian first. This is not only problematic for the reasons above, but because a woman has the right to choose whether or not she is ready to carry a child to term and she has the right to make that decision any way she chooses- which means with or without the go ahead from her parents.

Dean Loses Job for Marrying Partner

2010-09-03T11:56:00.001-05:00

This is so infuriating.

According to MassLive.com, Christine Judd was athletic director and dean at Cathedral High School in Springfield, Massachusetts — until she married her partner last month. At that point the Roman Catholic Diocese of Springfield gave her a choice — quit or be fired. Says diocese spokesman Mark Dupont,

Without being specific to this matter, it should be clear that all employees of our Catholic schools are made aware of our policies and regulations. This includes language that clearly states that whenever by public example, an employee engages in or espouses conduct which contravenes the doctrine and teaching of the Catholic Church, that employee may be subject to disciplinary action. To do otherwise would be in contradiction to the values we believe in and are teaching in these same schools. So while we certainly want to be compassionate and understanding, we must be true to who we are.

Judd says that she's "still exploring her legal options," and that "she questions if there are lay persons who work for the Catholic diocese who divorce and remarry without an annulment, or employees who use birth control, or men who have had vasectomies, or individuals who are pro-choice on abortion."

Denver Women's Correctional Facility Abuse

2010-09-02T09:16:00.006-05:00

**Trigger Warning for abuse of female prisoners**

Yuck. Female prisoners in Colorado are now expected to lift their outer labia while "officers search for contraband–sometimes with a flashlight, with faces only inches away from their genitals." This is not only worse than most strip search policies in the U.S., but women who were not suspected of carrying contraband have been submitted to this search. According to prisoners who have been forced to undergo the procedure, they have been "forced to sit or stand in front of an officer and lift their outer labia and clitoral hoods to prove an absence of contraband." These "labia lifts" are especially ridiculous because thorough cavity search policies were already in place before this policy was instated.

Luckily, the ACLU is on it. They have sent a letter to the Colorado Department of Corrections citing the unconstitutionality of the practice as well as the potential for the searches to produce trauma. Trauma is especially likely to occur among women in prison as approximately 80 percent of incarcerated women survived domestic violence and physical abuse before their conviction.

I Heart Jane Lynch

2010-08-30T08:08:00.001-05:00

This is irrelevant, but I love Jane Lych and I loved her acceptance speech so am posting it.

Yay! Good News for Trans People in Pennsylvania

2010-08-29T09:29:00.005-05:00

The Pennsylvania Department of Transportation is finally recognizing peoples' gender identity on their driver's liscenses.

The department and Equality Pennsylvania announced a settlement Wednesday that allows people to change the gender on their licenses if they are living full-time in their new gender and it can be verified by a licensed medical or psychological caregiver.

The previous policy only allowed changes in gender for drivers who could prove they had sexual reassignment surgery. PennDot said about half the states already have adopted a similar policy. The policy takes effect immediately.

The Invisible Young Feminists

2010-08-27T07:04:00.008-05:00

Apparently it has once again been stated that young feminists don't exist. I know I talked about my frustration with this a little in response to Eve Ensler's new book of monologues, but given this recent article I think it bears repeating. In a conversation in the NY Times between Gail Collins and Stacy Schiff the subject of young feminists came up. Here is what they had to say:

Gail Collins: Every time I go on a speaking tour I get questions from sad middle-aged women who want to know why their daughters all insist they aren’t feminists. They might be planning to devote their lives to healing fistula victims in Somalia, but they won’t let anyone call them feminists because they think it means being anti-man, or wearing unattractive shoes.

Stacy Schiff: Partly the word has been deliberately sullied, like “liberal” and “progressive.” It spells man-hating, militant, and, especially, no Manolos.

If it makes you feel better, I just texted my 17-year-old to ask if she considered herself a feminist. “If by feminism, you mean equality,” she answers, “then yes.” It’s not a word that appeals, because her generation thinks the work has been done. They’ve been reading articles about the End of Men. Somehow the news that men who work full-time make on average 23 percent more than women do seems to have escaped them.

Well, I am aware of the inequalities between men and women, am 20 years old, and I call myself a feminist. Apparently Female Impersonator and the rest of the lively young femnist blogosphere escaped their attention. It is really annoying that myself and so many other young women are feminist activists online and outside cyberspace but have yet to be recognized by the 2nd wave feminists that we admire so much.

That being said, I acknowledge the frustration over some (but nearly as many as was implied by Gail and Stacy) young women my age who are feminists, do feminist work, but refuse the name. One of my friends once told me that she didn't want to identify as a feminist because she didn't want to associate with anything like a political party. So yes, misunderstandings about feminism exist in my generation. However, I don't think it is fair to point this out without acknowledging how many young women do identify as feminists and how many young feminists are working to end all those misunderstandings about it. The purpose of Jessica Valenti's book Full Frontal Feminism was to erase any bad connotations with the feminist movement that other young women might have.

So anyway, in response to this article, Shelly B has called for young women to post the link to their feminist blog in the comments section of her blog post and to include the above image on their blog. If nothing else, the comments on her post have given me a great list of new blogs to take a look at. We encourage you to include your feminist blog on her site, but also in the comments of this post. We want to know what you're writing!

Today is the 90th Anniversary of Women Gaining the Right to Vote

2010-08-26T07:10:00.003-05:00

It is really discouraging to do feminist work sometimes. It seems like there are a thousand people working against equality for every person working towards it. When I talk to my peers, it becomes obvious that a lot of people have accepted sexism as a fact of life. But looking back on important milestones in feminist history helps. It helps to know that despite the fact that a lot of bigoted policies are still out there, the feminist movement has made huge advances in the last 100 years. A woman nearly won the democratic nomination for president, we now head two-thirds of American families, and we have a female Speaker of the House.

Speaking of which, Nancy Pelosi wrote an article today celebrating this anniversary while urging women to vote. I did a lot of voter registration work this summer and I can attest that not nearly enough women (particularly young women) vote in off-year elections. So celebrate this anniversary by voting and reading the below Susan B. Anthony quotes which I included out of hero worship.

"It was we, the people; not we, the white male citizens; nor yet we, the male citizens; but we, the whole people, who formed the Union."

"The fact is, women are in chains, and their servitude is all the more debasing because they do not realize it."

"[T]here never will be complete equality until women themselves help to make laws and elect lawmakers."

"I can't say that the college-bred woman is the most contented woman. The broader her mind the more she understands the unequal conditions between men and women, the more she shafes under a government that tolerates it."

When Capitalism and Feminism Meet

2010-08-25T08:29:00.006-05:00

So I have been looking at feminist merchandise all morning and fell in love with this T-shirt. I also might have become infatuated with this bumper sticker and this blogger-loving T.

So post your favorite pieces of feminist merchandise in comments and we can shop while working to end patriarchy together.

Equal Opportunity Public Toplessness

2010-08-24T13:04:00.004-05:00

I found Lori's post on feministing about public shirtlessness very thought-provoking. I didn't really take the issue that seriously at first, but then I started thinking about women breast-feeding. Breast feeding isn't obscene, but the sexualization of this pretty utilitarian part of us is what makes it so mothers can't post pictures of themselves nursing their infants on Facebook.

What are your thoughts on the issue? Should feminists take seriously the equal opportunity public toplessness issue since "it's small things like these where big gains can be made"? Or is it just a little too small of an issue to be worthy of our attention?

Study: Behavioral Differences Between the Sexes Not Hard-wired

2010-08-23T07:41:00.003-05:00

Thank God! Finally science is showing what feminists already suspected for years:

...There are no major neurological differences between the sexes, says Cordelia Fine in her book Delusions of Gender, which will be published by Icon next month. There may be slight variations in the brains of women and men, added Fine, a researcher at Melbourne University, but the wiring is soft, not hard. "It is flexible, malleable and changeable," she said.

In short, our intellects are not prisoners of our genders or our genes and those who claim otherwise are merely coating old-fashioned stereotypes with a veneer of scientific credibility. It is a case backed by Lise Eliot, an associate professor based at the Chicago Medical School. "All the mounting evidence indicates these ideas about hard-wired differences between male and female brains are wrong," she told the Observer.

"Yes, there are basic behavioural differences between the sexes, but we should note that these differences increase with age because our children's intellectual biases are being exaggerated and intensified by our gendered culture. Children don't inherit intellectual differences. They learn them. They are a result of what we expect a boy or a girl to be."

Thus boys develop improved spatial skills not because of an innate superiority but because they are expected and are encouraged to be strong at sport, which requires expertise at catching and throwing. Similarly, it is anticipated that girls will be more emotional and talkative, and so their verbal skills are emphasised by teachers and parents.

"Step Up and Step Back" - Hugo Schwyzer discusses men's role in feminism

2010-08-22T15:10:00.001-05:00

My second most-recent post at Feministe (The Masquerade: I call myself a feminist, therefore I am a feminist) generated some interesting discussion. One comment by Hugo explained some guidelines for men's participation in feminist spaces, called "Step Up and Step Back."

This is exactly what I want all men who are interested in feminist work to understand, and I think it's an important read.

Hugo elaborates on his ideas here.

The Latest in Sizeism

2010-08-22T07:54:00.002-05:00

A nail salon reportedly charged a customer $5 more for her manicure because of her weight:

Michelle Fonville tells WSB.TV that the owners of Natural Nails in DeKalb County, Georgia charged her extra for her manicure, claiming that damage to salon chairs had been done by overweight patrons, and that the extra $5 was to cover the potential cost of a replacement chair. "I said, Ma'am, you can't charge me $5 more. That's discrimination because of my weight," Fonville says, noting that Kim Tran, the manager of the salon, brought up the broken chair issue in response: "Do you think that's fair when we take $24 [for manicure and pedicure] and we have to pay $2,500? Is that fair? No."

But the salon was seemingly set up to discriminate to begin with; the chairs they're so concerned over only have a weight capacity of 200 pounds, and claiming that anyone over 200 pounds is responsible for chair damage, after already inviting them to sit on said chairs, is a very shady means of getting an extra five dollars through completing the manicure and then slapping on the extra humiliation charge. If the salon is so concerned about its precious chairs, perhaps it should order some that accommodate all of its customers, instead of blaming the patrons for "breaking" chairs that were not designed to support their weight to begin with.

The Masquerade: I call myself a feminist, therefore I am a feminist.

2010-08-20T09:02:00.000-05:00

(cross-posted from Feministe - wording edited slightly to reflect being posted here)

There’s this guy at my college who calls himself a feminist and, well, I just wouldn’t feel right calling him anything remotely close to a feminist.

I blogged about this student after he attended his first meeting of the feminist organization on my college campus (Students Against Sexism in Society, or SASS), tried to tell its largely female membership how to best run the organization, dominated the conversation, displayed an alarming lack of concern about triggering survivors of sexual assault, told stories of assault experiences that were not his to tell, then called out, by name, people he believed to be rapists.

As someone who has taken on several leaderships within this organization, I had to deal with the aftermath of this situation in which this student (let’s call him Mike) decided to make himself out to be a more involved pro-feminist guy the following term. I was co-president of SASS, but due to class scheduling conflicts, I was unable to attend SASS meetings, so my co-president ran them.

SASS’s major event that term was Take Back The Night and Mike first showed his disrespect for the organization he claimed to want to be a part of when he, on his own initiative, created flyers advertising TBTN as a march “against anti-LGBT violence” (he explained later that he was attempting to attract a larger crowd, not seeming to care that he was doing so by misrepresenting our event). He sent electronic copies of these and several other flyers out to the SASS e-mail list, instructing people to hang them up. I was forced to counter his e-mail, telling the group that those were not the flyers that were meant to be hung up, that Mike was not in charge of publicity, and members would be notified when the correct flyers were ready to be hung up.

I got an angry e-mail from Mike about this. He called me rude, stupidly hostile, “an immature insecure leader intent on doing nothing but touting her title around and impeding progress” and ended on this note:

Are you going to do ANYTHING for Take Back the Night? Or are you just going to impede the progress of smarter, more political members of the club you are a tyrant of?

Interestingly, the language Mike utilized in his e-mail was very similar to language in e-mails I had received earlier in the year from a female SASS member who fundamentally disagreed with my leadership style. I felt that both e-mail attacks were unwarranted, as they took place after I exercised due responsibility as an elected officer of SASS. The difference lies in the fact that the female SASS member who criticized me (however harshly or unjustly) could clearly be viewed as acting in what she felt was the best interest of SASS as a feminist organization that she cared about. Mike, however, could not be said to have had the same motives.

He showed a worrisome disregard for survivors of sexual assault (the same people he claimed to want to help by taking part in TBTN), disrespected SASS (by misrepresenting one of its events), and insulted an elected leader of an organization that is legitimately concerned about the interests of women after that leader took measures to ensure the integrity of the group. He made it clear that his interest lied not with SASS or even helping women.

The worst part is that in three separate e-mails that Mike sent me, none of which offered a fair critique and which seemed to be nothing more than a backlash against me acting as an officer, he insinuated time and time again that he was a better feminist than I am.

I’ve been trying to write this post for months now, but I’ve found this situation incredibly difficult to deal with. Being insulted is never easy, but when it comes from someone who claims to be an ally it’s not only confusing but incredibly hurtful. It stings to be called a bad feminist by a guy who doesn’t even seem to understand what feminism is and who showed little respect for women, some of the people that he should have been interested in fighting for.

I know I should just brush off these insults. I usually can. But it really bothers me when someone like Mike takes on the label of feminist, a label I wear with pride, when it just doesn’t apply to the type of actions he has undertaken. This is the kind of thing that undermines the work of people who actually want to make the world a better place for women and other oppressed groups. When people like Mike can call themselves feminists, I usually end up going to bed frustrated and a little hurt.

True Blood Rolling Stone Cover- Possible Interpretations

2010-08-19T23:01:00.004-05:00

My first reaction when I saw coverage of the bloody, naked Rolling Stone cover featuring three True Blood stars was that True Blood was once again combining sex and violence in a really disturbing way. I hadn’t watched the show until this season, but after seeing a really graphic rape scene and other, subtler sexist elements that fetishized violence against women I was disgusted. I realize it is a vampire show and some amount of sex intermingled with violence is inevitable. However, the violence was almost always erotic when committed against women and not nearly as often when committed against men.

So like I was saying, seeing the True Blood cast naked and drenched in blood just seemed like another instance of sexualizing violence. But Stephanie at Ms. Magazine’s blog has another, more interesting take on the cover.

By mixing sexy bodies with blood, Stephanie argues, that the cover serves to remove some of the taboo surrounding menstruation and “period sex.”

Most often in popular culture, the only images of naked people we see are in sexual situations (other possibilities include naked people bathing and as babies). And because sex + menstrual blood = an absolute no-no for mainstream media, then blood and naked bodies–especially women’s naked, bloody bodies–are not likely to appear together.

So when I saw the True Blood cover I was surprised and a little thrilled. I knew I was supposed to be seeing sexy vampire stuff, but immediately I started to think about other situations in which you might be naked and bloody. And what did I come up with? Period sex. Which is an even bigger taboo than menstruation itself.
…
And that brings me to why I think this cover is so fantastic. Though Anna Paquin (likely) isn’t menstruating in this photo, we are seeing blood, sex and bodies in the same frame, forcing us to consider the mingling, seeping and blending of these very human things. If we can look at these sexy, naked actors covered in blood and still think they’re damn fine, we’re one step closer to getting over the menstrual
taboo and taking part in the joys of loving our girlfriends while they’re bleeding.

Frankly, I still stick by my first analysis of the cover though I think Stephanie’s thoughts are really interesting. So what do you all think? Does the cover fetishize violence the way many True Blood episodes have, is it a celebration of menstruation, or something else?

Parental Advisory: Explicit, Unladylike S**t

2010-08-18T18:07:00.002-05:00

(Cross-posted from Feministe)

It's true. I swear a lot. It's a fact that gets brought up frequently at random times by people who have spoken with me.

Apparently, I shouldn't swear.

Why is this?

A) It makes me sound unintelligent
B) It makes me sound angry
C) It makes me sound trashy
D) It's unladylike

Trick question. It's actually all of the above, according to a number of people I've spoken to.

I understand that swearing is not appropriate in every situation. I make sure to censor myself when I am at work, around people I am not acqainted with, or around people I know are offended by my language. However, when I have been told that swearing makes me sound unintelligent, angry, trashy, or unladylike, it has not been because the person making these statements has been offended by my language. It seems to come from a place of concern about how I will be perceived if people hear me using vulgar language.

Fair enough. Certain segments of the society I live in have problems with women doing "unladylike" things like wearing pants, having sex with multiple partners, drinking, and swearing. Women being looked down upon for engaging in what some deem unacceptable behavior is not an uncommon experience.

I know that that, quite frankly, is bullshit, and when people express their concern about what people will think about me because I swear, I tend to laugh it off.

Then I met a girl a few days ago who is a few years younger than myself. She didn't talk much, but when she did finally open her mouth, some of the first words she

spoke were what some people would consider vulgar. I was shocked by this, and when I thought back on this later, I was surprised that I felt this way.

I swear. My friends swear. I listen to music that comes with parental advisory labels. In none of these situations am I ever shocked by or give a second thought to the "vulgar" language. But when a girl in her teens swore the first time I met her, I froze.

I was thinking about this. I don't have a problem with women swearing, so did my reaction have to do with this girl's age? If so, does that mean I buy into the idea that young girls are innocent, and that violating that sense of innocence somehow violates the essence of their girlhood?

I hope not. The idea of the innocent, virtuous woman plays into patriarchal ideas that women needing to be protected by men, the only people who can stand guard over all that is good about them. And that's certainly not how I want to think about young women who use words in the same way that I do.

Consent and coming out

2010-08-16T08:16:00.002-05:00

(cross-posted from Feministe)

Knowing your preferences and your limits is an important part of having a satisfying sex life. For most of my life as a sexually active person, I could have talked about these ideas, but it wasn't until more recently that I was finally able to practice what I often preached.

This is tied to the fact that I came out (selectively) as queer in 2009.

Coming out was not easy for me. I starting coming out to myself late in my first year at college, but I distinctly remember looking myself in the mirror and seeing "QUEER" stamped across my forehead. For a while, thinking of myself in that way was so difficult that I shoved myself back in the closet, determining that what had just happened must have been a weird symptom of stress or something. In the meantime, I was in a long distance relationship with a boyfriend I'd been with since high school. We'd see each other about once a month and we almost always had sex when we were together.

Fast forward one school year and I had come around to certain things about myself.
I was definitely queer. I came out to my boyfriend right away as bisexual (which is no longer a label I use). He was supportive and we stayed together because this did not appear to change our relationship. There was a problem, however. I still was not terribly interested in sex with my boyfriend.

This was something I didn't realize fully until I had a new partner, but I had never been very interested in the sex I had had with men in the past. My boyfriend and I did have sex, and it was something I had convinced myself (dishonestly) that I wanted. I had bought into the idea that I was supposed to want to have sex with my boyfriend, even when I could tell that I was not truly interested. The sex was not terrible or selfish on his part, but my interest only seemed to hold for a very brief time. This created a situation in which I rarely initiated sex. It also meant that enthusiastic consent was not something that was practiced in our relationship.

I knew my boyfriend wanted sex because he almost always made the first move. While he did not often check in with me during sex, something that may have given some indication of my lack of interest, he was good at asking me if I wanted sex before we did anything. I always said I did, whether or not it was really true, but I was aware that this wasn't the kind of consent that should take place in these situations. I knew about enthusiastic consent and I often spoke to people about the idea. I just couldn't bring myself to amend the situation with my boyfriend. It would be messy to explain that what had become a common practice did not actually fit with my personal definition of consent.

Our relationship ended a few months later for reasons unrelated to sex. I don't want it to sound like my ex was a bad guy. He did practice affirmative consent (having sex when I said, yes, I wanted to), but it didn't change the fact that I just wasn't into having sex with him and he didn't seem to notice.

Once that relationship was over, I had the time to come to terms with my queerness. I quickly realized that while I had thought that I had enjoyed sex with men before, I had not been completely honest with myself. It was a bit shocking to realize that the sex I had had in the past didn't fit my personal ideas about proper consent, but in a way it makes sense. If you can't be honest with yourself about your desires, then it's hard to be honest about what you want sexually, and not being honest about what you want makes consent very tricky. Once I was able to be true to my desires, I found myself wanting sex more often and being able to enjoy it on new levels. This gave me the freedom to navigate new rules of consent.

I've been with my current partner for almost a year now and something that I am incredibly pleased with is how effortlessly we've been able to have awesome, feminism-informed sex, and how easy it was to communicate my ideas about consent. We practice enthusiastic, affirmative consent with ease and for the first time in my life I can consider myself truly satisfied.

Emotional Creature

2010-08-15T23:42:00.004-05:00

Eve Ensler (Of Vagina Monologues fame) has a new book of monologues out, I Am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World. MTV has been promoting the work through posting videos of young women reciting segments of five of the monologues on their website. I am predisposed to like everything Eve does and really appreciated large portions of these pieces. However, there are a couple of elements of the monologues that annoyed and offended me a little. Below are my thoughts on the video segments I saw and monologues I read.

The first monologue listed on MTV’s website for the series is “You Tell Me How to Be a Girl in 2010.” The parts of this monologue that I really like are how Eve takes on homophobia with lines like “And if the hetero nuclear family is so great/how come everyone is fleeing it” and how she highlights the world’s violence against women problem (“Women are burned, raped, bludgeoned, sold,/starved, and buried alive/and still don’t’ know they are the majority.”) However, neither of these aspects were highlighted in the video clip read by Aubrey Plaza. What is highlighted is the part of the monologue that calls my generation apathetic, “What happened to teenagers kissing/instead of blogging and dissing?/What happened to teenagers marching/and refusing/instead of exploiting and using?” That really made me angry. As Stephanie Herold wrote for Campus Progress, young activists do exist despite the lack of “teenagers marching.” And part of the way we are working to bring about change is by doing some of that blogging.

The second monologue “I Dance” I found very powerful, especially when it speaks out against society’s attitudes towards a young woman’s body “I dance past your lustful eyes/Your dirty interpretations of my teenage body.” However, again, what was chosen to be highlighted in the video was the part that speaks against technology, “I dance ‘cause it’s better/than sexting.” I realize that technology has been utilized as a way to abuse women, but the theme of technology-bashing in these monologues is really disheartening for someone like me who does most of their activism through it. Sure, we should highlight what is wrong with it (it makes it easier to bully and emotionally abuse people) but not without also displaying the awesome ways young people are using it.

The third monologue “Asking The Question” is just awesome, both the part emphasized via video and the entire thing. Adorable and happiness inducing.

The fourth monologue “It’s Not a Baby, It’s a Maybe” was a really thoughtful look at how one young woman might think about an unplanned pregnancy. However, I was once again disappointed with the segment they decided to highlight in video. The video seemed to deliberately avoid the central conflict in the monologue, which was whether or not the speaker would get an abortion.

The fifth monologue “Dear Rihanna” was hard to read, but I appreciate how it captures some of the troubling reactions people have to dating violence. The video segment seemed well chosen.

If any of you get a chance to see any of the videos or read any of the monologues let me know your thoughts in comments.

Domestic Abuse Survivor Granted Asylum

2010-08-13T13:52:00.002-05:00

**Trigger warning for description of domestic violence**

L.R., a 43 year old Mexican woman, was repeatedly abused by her common-law husband. This abuse included repeated rapes at point of guns and machetes and an attempt to burn her in her bed. Knowing Mexican authorities would not help her and there was no place where she could not be found by her abuser in Mexico, L.R. filed for asylum in 2005. On August 4th, an immigration judge approved asylum for L.R. as well as her two sons, now 22 and 20 years old, after a favorable recommendation by Department of Homeland Security officials.

Before this case, domestic abuse survivors seeking asylum were often dismissed by immigration judges. This was partly because until recently, the Department of Homeland Security did not have clear required criteria for domestic violence survivors seeking asylum. Unfortunately, with this new criteria “hurdles remain high for battered women” seeking asylum. However, this case at least clarifies what those hurdles are and makes it a little easier for people like L.R. and her sons to receive asylum.

If not granted asylum, L.R. would have faced insurmountable obstacles to be protected from her abuser in her homeland of Mexico. When she asked Mexican courts to protect her, a judge only “offered to help her if she would have sex with him.” If she were to continue working as a schoolteacher in Mexico, she would have to post her current address online in a public registry that her abuser could easily access. The Mexican police would also likely been of little help given the “‘enormous social and cultural tolerance of this abuse, resulting in the virtual complicity of authorities who should prevent and punish these violent acts.’”

While it is unfortunate that it still remains difficult for domestic abuse survivors to be granted asylum in the U.S., L.R.’s case at least helps to specify what the criteria is and shows it is possible to be given asylum. To learn more about the state of violence against women on a national and international scale, visit Amnesty International’s “Stop Violence Against Women Campaign” page.

Lily Allen Rocks my Socks

2010-08-12T12:36:00.001-05:00

This song is fantastic.

Enter Madam Buzzkill

2010-08-12T08:14:00.001-05:00

(cross-posted from Feministe)

**Trigger warning for description of violence**

It's a Friday night after a long work week. A group of friends, four men and two women, sits down for drinks at someone's house to unwind. All seems well. There is banter all around the table. Someone turns on a radio and music mixes with the sharp notes of quick laughter. A few hours later, a number of drinks have been had and everyone is feeling good, especially one young man who is singing an out of tune version of a once-popular song to the young woman sitting next to him. This young man picks up his drink and his voice soars ever louder and off key as his male friends laugh and cheer him on, finding his antics quite amusing. The young man eventually sits down next to the woman he had been serenading. She is texting someone. The young man next to her does not like this and tries to take her phone. She resists. He tightens his grip on her hand and arm and is eventually joined by another man who grips the woman's other arm. As the three other people at the table watch and laugh at the developing struggle, the woman still does not let go. For several long moments the Singer persists until he bites the woman's arm, gives one last yank at her phone, and finally he and his accomplice give up. The young woman is in shock. She does not register the pain in her arms yet. Instead, she feels betrayed by the others sitting at the same table who watched this behavior, which is already beginning to leave a bruise on her arm, and did nothing but laugh. In effect, they encouraged it.

This woman sits in silence while the others at the table continue to laugh and drink. She gets up to pour herself a glass of water. When she returns, the young man who had serenaded her and tried to take her phone from her is standing behind his seat, drink still in hand, swaying on his feet, clearly very intoxicated. His male friends are laughing at him. Every slurred word, every stumbling footstep seems to produce a new wave of hilarity. As the drunk young man spills his drink and is greeted by even more laughter, the woman stands up. She has had enough.

Enter Madam Buzzkill.

The above story is my own. A drunk young man who I considered my friend tried to take my phone and in the process, bit my arm while another, less-intoxicated man had me by my other arm. The young man was clearly very intoxicated, but none of the other people sitting with us stepped in to stop his behavior from escalating to physical violence. I finally had enough of everyone's inaction and even encouragement of this man's behavior, so I pulled this young man aside to have a talk with him about how his behavior was unacceptable and could potentially get him into a lot of trouble if he wasn't careful when he was out in public. When I explained that he had bitten me he looked shocked. He said he didn't remember it and that he was sorry. I told him that his inability to remember was a cause for concern and he agreed. As I got him to drink some water he explained how he didn't want to look weak to his friends

Before I could address this with him, the other woman in our party came over to where we were talking, listened for a few moments, then essentially began apologizing for my behavior. I would say something and this woman would suggest an alternative and say something about me along the lines of, "I'm sorry. This lady over here, she's kind of uptight about these things." In fact, this woman explained to me later that she basically reinforced that message when she got the young man alone. In essence, she was explaining how I tend to be a buzzkill.

Therein lies the problem. At least in American society, the one I am familiar with, people are socialized to stand by and let things just happen when the situation involves alcohol. Calling people out for unacceptable behavior while drinking is deeply frowned upon because, hey, everyone is just trying to have a good time, right? Who wants to be the downer who warns that maybe Billy shouldn't drink another beer when everyone else is having a good time laughing at how he's wearing his pants on his head? No one wants to be ostracized for not going along with the feel good vibes that come with a few drinks.

Truth is, alcohol does not promote good decision making, and a good sense of community responsibility is important.

A feeling of responsibility to those you drink with would make it easier to step in when a situation appears problematic. Is someone acting sloppy? Say something. Is someone too drunk to be going off alone with someone else? Say something. Being able to speak up in these situations requires a deeper sense of community than what may be accomplished by merely sharing a few drinks with some people you may or may not want to see again.

This is a complicated idea to develop in the minds of most people who drink to relax or perhaps even escape. Most people don't want to add any responsibility to the mix because it's extra work. When I first started drinking, I did so with a carefully selected group of women. We were all good friends and without any prompting we felt comfortable discussing our limits with each other. With that knowledge established before we started drinking, we had no problem looking out for each other. Once I felt comfortable doing this with my friends, it was an easy step toward doing the same thing with people I was less familiar with when I felt that the situation called for intervention.

Simple awareness and a sense of responsibility in bystanders can help prevent people from embarassing themselves and can even help prevent more serious issues such as sexual assault. However, speaking up when socialization demands our silent compliance is not easy. It will take practice to get used to this idea of action, and it may be met with hostility or resistance. But I have hope that in the future, instead of being viewed as a buzzkill, an individual who steps in could be viewed as acting out of love.

Speak up and expect to be dismissed, petulant child.

2010-08-10T08:24:00.001-05:00

(cross-posted from Feministe)

The past few months of my life have made one thing startlingly clear: At 21 years, I am too young to be taken seriously by some people who are older than myself, and quite frankly, it’s beginning to piss me off.

I am not the type of woman who has ever been able to watch injustice unfold and do nothing. I often confront people who I believe are acting in hurtful ways because I hope that people would do the same for me so I could learn from my mistakes. In fact, that is the only way I ever have learned much.

I have stood up to people older than myself and this has almost never turned out well.

Start with Situation #1.

My hometown is a small place, and unfortunately, it is not very open-minded. This town is not often outwardly hostile, but I have never been comfortable with the bigotry displayed by many individuals there.

A few days ago the ex-fire chief updated his Facebook status, wondering if a type of deodorant was for men or for women. I saw this as a good opportunity to voice my opinion that if he liked it, I hoped it wouldn’t matter gender it was “meant” for. My comment was immediately followed by another grown man from the community saying that I must have meant that it was ok for the poster to be a “homo.”

I immediately commented back to clarify that I had meant nothing of the nature and that using the word “homo” as an insult was offensive and hurtful.

This man never acknowledged my words and instead took to making fun of me. Eventually another woman commented and told me that using “homo” as a type of insult in this instance was not offensive because the person being called the “homo” was not offended by it. I replied that just because the person being insulted wasn’t offended doesn’t make the use of the word any less hurtful and that excusing this behavior was problematic. I was then told off by that woman who called me “sweetie,” said I knew nothing about her, and that God would be the final judge.

It was the “sweetie” thing that bothered me the most, because with that languge, the kind that is usually used to address children, it was blatantly clear that she was through listening to me. She had already made up her mind that I had nothing worthwhile to say. Turns out I was right about this.

Annoyed and feeling as if this woman had a completely false idea of what I was trying to accomplish, I sent her a private message offering to talk in detail. She made it clear that she did not feel a discussion with me would offer her anything, an attitude which she indicated through her constant claims that she has more “life experience” than I do, and the fact that she has attained higher levels of education.

Now, on to Situation #2.

At the end of June I attended a meeting for queer youth. At this meeting, there was a misunderstanding between myself and another female attendee that ended with the woman getting very upset and leveling several insults at me, including one about my personal life that was completely irrelevant to the current situation. She then stormed out of the building.

A few moments after she left, the man running the meeting turned to me and told me, in essence, that it was my fault that she had verbally attacked me. He then got up and started doing some light cleaning. This act of silent approval of the woman’s behavior left me feeling attacked and without an ally at this meeting, a feeling that prompted me to leave and not return that night.

So a few weeks later I messaged this man on Facebook (as I was without a phone). I explained how disappointed I was with his behavior, how he had made me feel unwelcome, and how I felt that it was inappropriate for him to place the blame squarely on my shoulders when I was the one who had been attacked.

He responded that I should come back and see him if I wanted to have this discussion, which was fair, but I explained that in my current situation, I had no transportation. He told me that was my choice, and I said I was disappointed in him not trying to work something out with me. He responded:

Your inability to to get or find transportation is no concern of mine. You want to be treated as an adult, then start behaving as one not as a petulant child.

This was the end of our correspondence, and it left me incredibly ticked off. Not only did I feel that my words did not warrant such a critical response, but he was completely dismissive. Not once did he acknowledge what I had said, or give any sort of idea that if I were to find a way to meet with him that he would acknowledge what I had said. He kept things on his terms until he decided to end our correspondence. That’s the problem in both of these situations.

Both of the people mentioned above are twice my age and both of them clearly had problems with me, but not outwardly so until I challenged them on their behavior. However, while I’ve been sitting on this post, I’ve tried to put myself in their shoes because I feel that that is only fair, and I think I can relate to them to some extent.

It’s difficult and uncomfortable to be challenged by people who are strong in their convictions, no matter their age. It makes me feel insecure about my own ideas and beliefs when this happens to me. It must be especially difficult when the person challenging you is much younger because I know that most people who are much older than me tend to be of the mind that children are not supposed to question their parents or authority in general, so when this role of submissive child is broken, I can imagine it being shocking. And maybe this shock is why these two people spoke down to me when I voiced my criticisms.

However, this dissmissing of my ideas based on my age leaves a big problem. If people set some arbitrary age until which they will not take people seriously, they are missing out on many opportunities to learn valuable lessons. People of various ages and life experiences (and I do not buy into the idea that just because someone has been alive longer that they have more “life experience” than someone younger) will bring very different ideas about how to solve problems, and it is that kind of melding of ideas that is most likely to come to practical and workable solutions. But it also requires that people want to listen to others who may not agree with us or may be younger than us.

I am open to the idea that perhaps I could have handled myself better in these situations, and I have been giving this some serious thought. Should I not have said anything? Would these people have been more receptive if I had sugar coated my criticism? Would they have taken me seriously then? Will people who perceive me as angry (rightfully or not) ever be able or willing to truly listen to me?

All I know for sure is that I did make every attempt to express myself firmly but not impolitely. I know that what I had to say was not going to be easy to hear, but I tried to say it in the least offensive way possible. But my attempts were met with dismissal and cruelty. Neither of these people seemed to have listened to anything I said. Their behavior was, as they made clear, largely based on my age.

These people that I have been bumping heads with are hiding behind the idea that their years give them experience that no idea in my head will make up for. None of my thoughts or my own experiences mean anything simply because these people have been alive longer and, in their minds, know better. This is extremely frustrating because it makes no sense. Dismissing someone based on their age and supposed lack of experience is easy, but it is harmful, too. If we cut people out of our lives by believing they have nothing to teach us, how much can we really know about the world we’re living in?

New Policies Make Trans Inmates in Maine Safer

2010-08-09T17:00:00.000-05:00

Great news from Maine:

A few enlightened prison experts have figured out that placement decisions shouldn’t be based on fixed rules about transgender people, such as the “genital rule” most prisons currently follow. Under this rule, a transgender inmate who has lived for many years as a woman is placed in a jail cell with other men, just because she hasn’t had genital surgery. And routine searches of transgender women are often carried out by male, rather than female, staff.

Imagine the risks these practices impose on transgender men and women. A 2007 study found that “[s]exual assault is 13 times more prevalent among transgender inmates, with 59 percent reporting being sexually assaulted.” (emphasis added).

Recently, the jail administrators at the county jail in Portland, Maine recognized the need to do something to protect transgender detainees and drafted a policy to guide those efforts. The Maine Civil Liberties Union and the ACLU LGBT Project, along with some help from Jennifer Levi at Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders, were given the opportunity to comment on the draft and the result is a great success. Although there are aspects of it we’d change, the basic structure is exactly right.

It puts into place a Transgender Review Committee that takes into account gender identity (someone’s internal sense of maleness or femaleness) before classifying transgender inmates. Verbal and physical harassment are explicitly prohibited Transgender inmates are allowed to state their preference for whether they’re searched by male or female guards. Inmates can dress and use names or pronouns that fit their gender identity. It’s an extraordinary improvement over the practices in most other jails and prisons. Mainers should be proud.

Hopefully other states will soon follow in Maine's footsteps.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

2010-08-08T12:39:00.003-05:00

*trigger alert for discussion of sexual violence and spoiler alert for those who haven’t read the book*

Okay, so I realize I am super-late in reading Stieg Larsson’s trilogy and that there is already a bunch of feminist discussion about it out there in cyberspace. However, I just finished the first installment (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) and am excited so have decided to pull ya’ll along with me as I read and contemplate the series from a feminist perspective.

For those of you who don’t know, the novel focuses on Lisabeth Salander, a survivor of multiple sexual assaults (two of which are graphically depicted in this novel) who is an anti-social bi-sexual detective/hacker who takes revenge on her rapist. Some feminist critique has questioned whether or not she is a feminist heroine, both because of implausible and all-too real aspects of her persona. One reviewer in particular stated that the fact that she takes on men twice her size is ridiculously unrealistic and therefore not threatening to the patriarchal status quo. The same reviewer also said that Salander’s weaknesses- her self-consciousness about her breast size and infatuation with the male lead- undermine any feminist heroism. I have to disagree on both counts.

I haven’t read the second or third book, but in the first I thought Larsson did a good job of balancing the realities of Salander’s 90 pound frame while also making her into an action hero. She doesn’t punch the bad guys out- she takes them on by thinking ahead and using technology. I found her self-consciousness about her breasts an important reminder that even sexually liberated women who actively fight against sexual assault are susceptible to societal pressures telling them they are lesser because they don’t fit into a traditional model of femininity. I also thought her infatuation Blomkivist, the much older journalist, was totally understandable considering what a dream-boat he is, but I could be blinded by my literary love there.

Another thing I loved about the book: Blomkivist is the traditional male action-hero in that he sleeps with no less than three very desirable women in this novel. However, unlike a lot of stereotypical male leads, all of these women pursue him and express their sexual desire without being described as desperate or unwanted.

In fact, all of the women we meet in Larsson’s story are active characters. Even Harriet, who disappeared as a teenager and we do not know is alive until the end of the book, is a strong female character who killed one of her rapists and became a shrewd businesswoman.

However, despite my obvious affection for the book, I do have a couple qualms with it. There are two graphic scenes depicting the oral and anal rape of Salander as well as plenty of discussion about how other women were raped. I think it could be argued that these scenes serve to display how dangerous misogyny can be and how disgusting sexual assault is. But it could also be argued that these scenes just follow in the gratuitous footsteps of authors who sexualize and fetishize violence against women. I am not sure what to think about these scenes, but I would be interested in hearing others’ impressions.

The one thing I could definitely say I didn’t like about The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is the title. It was originally published as Men Who Hate Women, which is a much better title considering the novel is about violence against women; meaning the book should focus on what assholes perpetrators of the crime are, not sexualizing women. I also hate how the title belittles Salander by calling her “girl,” when, in fact, she is a woman in her mid-twenties.

I will keep you all updated as I read the series. I am hoping to watch the Swedish movie soon, so hopefully some discussion of that is also forthcoming.

If you have read the book or seen the movie, please let me know your thoughts in comments.

Awesome feminist book store: Women & Children First

2010-08-05T10:48:00.000-05:00

I was in Chicago yesterday and without internet access when I got a text message informing me that Prop 8 had been overturned (although this will be appealed). That good news put me in a fantastic mood which was added to by a visit to quite an amazing book store in Andersonville called Women & Children First.

This is the kind of book store where, say, on your first visit, you could be looking at a book, make a face, and the women working will ask you if you want to talk about it. It was amazing to interact with such knowledgeable and friendly women in such a welcoming environment. It was the best experience I've ever had in a book store.
Complete with an impressive amount of all kinds of feminist/gender/queer theory and literature (and quite an awesome collection of zines) and even a "Kid's Corner," this store is definitely at the top of my list of favorite places in Chicago.

Trans Woman Denied Medical Treatment

2010-08-02T19:46:00.009-05:00

Erin Vaught, a transsexual woman, went to an Indiana hospital coughing up blood. However, instead of being treated for her very scary symptom, she was dehumanized by the hospital staff and was refused treatment.

The first sign of discrimination occurred when Vaught was entered into the hospital computer system as male despite the fact that her ID said female. When Erin pointed out the error, a staff member laughed at her. Later, in the exam room, she was called “he-she,” “it,” and “transvestite.”

If all this humiliation weren’t enough to endure for a woman who was coughing up blood, she was then denied treatment because of her “condition.”

"I was confused," Vaught said. "I told them I didn't know my condition, that's why I was there. She said 'No, the transvestite thing.' She said I couldn't see a doctor until I came back with test orders from my doctor in Indy."

Advocacy groups have since filed complaints with the hospital and a spokesman for the hospital said the incident is being investigated.

Unfortunately, being treated poorly by the medical community is not that unusual for transgendered folks. Part of it is due to blatant bigotry, as was the case for Vaught. However, some of it is just ignorance of how to treat transgendered individuals. Joanne Herman recently wrote an article for The Huffington Post, detailing just some of areas of the health community that remain ignorant about trans issues. Therapists and surgeons, two groups that should be especially well equipped to deal with trans issues, are sadly ignorant of the needs of the trans community. Those who are experts in trans issues usually learn on the job since there is little training in school about trans needs.

The plight of Erin Vaught is yet another example of how trans people are overwhelmingly mistreated by the medical community. To tell the hospital that mistreated her that disrespecting patients because of their gender is not okay, use the contact information here.

Children are people, too.

2010-07-31T16:15:00.004-05:00

This post was prompted by a line in my post entitled "Toddlers are not grown women" in which I said:

I also believe that parents should play a role in helping their child make decisions and that they should view their child as a partner in this regard.

In the comment section of that post, Anonymous challenged my idea that children could or should ever be viewed as partners with their parents, suggesting that parents' roles in their children's lives should be that of "bosses" who make decisions for children because they are not capable of doing so on their own until adulthood (which I read to mean legal adulthood, suggested by this commenter in another comment that was not posted due to its tangential nature, to mean 18 years of age).

Anonymous said:

Raising kids by being their "friend" results in horrible, maladjusted kids with a lot of selfishness and problems.

First of all, nowhere in that post did I suggest that parents should act as their children's friends. I do not even suggest that children should be viewed as completely equal partners with their parents. All I meant to suggest was that children should be viewed as more than objects to be controlled by their parents. I'll expand on that idea here.

I'd like to clarify that I do not have any children. However, I have experienced a type of parenting that I would not want to replicate if I ever had the desire to raise children of my own. In the middle class, white American culture I grew up in, there is an overarching idea that children have little capacity for personhood. They are treated like objects or pets that should be, in essence, ruled over by parents who always know what was best for their children, without question. Children's opinions and desires do not matter because of their age. In effect, children are lesser people, if they can even be considered people at all.

I have a huge problem with conceptualizing children in the same manner as one might think of a pet. I do not believe this mindset is healthy for the parent or the child. It has the potential to create dependence in children that may make it difficult for them to take on "adult" responsibilities once they reach legal adulthood and it presents a way for parents to place on their children an unfair burden - the responsibility of making their parents feel useful. When the roles of parents and children change as children grow up, it cane be difficult on everyone.

I believe that this idea that children just are not capable of doing certain things is, largely, due to socialization. If parents treat children as if they are incapable of making any decisions at all (as opposed to only life-altering ones), children will not have to rise to the occasion and will fill their parents' low expectations. If parents expected more out of their children and viewed them as capable of doing more, I think a lot of people would be surprised by how much children are capable of.

I also want to stress my belief in parents' roles in helping oversee their children's decisions and helping them navigate the world while teaching and disciplining when necessary. However, allowing children appropriate amounts of control over aspects of their lives is important because no person, small or not, should be ruled by someone else who denies them the opporunity to exercise any amount of power over their lives.

This acknowledgement of a child's personhood throughout life (as opposed to waiting until a child reaches some arbitrary age) could easily create more independent children who are better equipped to handle "adult" situations and responsibilities without doubting themselves. Treating children as smaller people could also easily create within the minds of children reasonable expectations of respect. When they are not used to thinking of themselves of subjects under their parents' rule, it might be easier for them to fight for their rights and perhaps even those of others when they finally leave the nest.

IL doctor allegedly assaults several female patients, may not permanently lose license

2010-07-30T12:28:00.003-05:00

**Trigger warning for sexual assault**

Terrible news from my home state:

A 17-year-old girl reported to Berwyn police in 2003 that her doctor, Ricardo Arze, had pulled off her clothes and sexually assaulted her in his exam room, state records show.

Two years later, another patient reported to Berwyn police that Arze had placed his hands on her breasts, breathed heavily on her neck and tried to touch her genitals, claiming it would help treat depression, according to a police report.

Not until 2007 -- after at least four women had filed complaints -- did police launch the investigation that led to Arze being charged with sexually assaulting patients and having his license suspended, records show.

By that time, the family physician had allegedly assaulted at least 21 women and girls at his Arze Doctors Center in Berwyn, according to criminal and civil complaints that outline attacks stretching at least to 2000.

...That police had received allegations against Arze as early as 2003 came as a shock to one of the women who reported being abused by him in 2007.

"I am disgusted," she said of law enforcement. "They should investigate why they didn't do anything. They were accomplices."

The women said they continue to suffer trauma from the incidents. They cannot see male doctors. One has recurring dreams about her alleged attack.

Arze, who is scheduled to be in court Aug. 16, won't lose his medical license for good even if convicted of all the sexual assault and battery of patient charges.

The Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation has interpreted the state Medical Practice Act to mean that it cannot permanently revoke a physician's license unless a doctor has been twice convicted of felonies involving controlled substances or public aid offenses.

A Tribune review uncovered 16 convicted sex offenders who have held Illinois medical licenses within the past 15 years. Not one had his license permanently revoked. One doctor convicted of sexually abusing a patient was never disciplined by the state in any way.

h/t

Toddlers are not grown women

2010-07-29T13:10:00.001-05:00

I was watching a clip from the Colbert Report when I first heard about Baby Gap's line of Mini Skinny jeans. Yes. Skinny jeans for toddlers.

Below left: A screen shot from the Gap website of a white female toddler (labeled: "hayden, 3") in what appears to be a denim jacket and fitted "Mini Skinny" jeans. Her hand is to her mouth.

Now, I believe that children are people and should be allowed, when able, to decide what they want to wear. I also believe that parents should play a role in helping their child make decisions and that they should view their child as a partner in this regard.

The reason I have a problem with skinny jeans for toddlers is that they're taking a fashion trend originally meant for grown women and making it into something to be owned by children. Skinny jeans are no more practical than other jeans for toddlers. This is a blatant rip off of grown women's clothing - and guess what toddlers are not? Grown women. And treating them as grown women by dressing them up in clothes that look like those worn by adults creates some potentially disturbing possibilities.

This ties back to the trend of sexualizing women at younger and younger ages. While these jeans are not sexual, they are meant to model toddlers after adult women. That is a problem.

Edited to include a caption for the screen shot I included. Also, check out Gap's "Boyfriend jeans" for toddlers (thanks to Anonymous in the comments for the heads up about that!).

Federal judge puts breaks on controversial parts of Arizona immigration law

2010-07-28T14:07:00.002-05:00

This is good news, but lawyers for Gov. Brewer are expected to appeal and this may go the United States Supreme Court:

A federal judge on Friday, weighing in a clash between the federal government and a state over immigration policy, blocked the most controversial parts of Arizona’s immigration enforcement law from going into effect.

In a ruling on a law that has rocked politics coast to coast and thrown a spotlight on a border state’s fierce debate over immigration, Judge Susan Bolton of Federal District Court here said that some aspects of the law can go into effect as scheduled on Thursday.

But Judge Bolton took aim at the parts of the law that have generated the most controversy, issuing a preliminary injunction against sections that called for police officers to check a person’s immigration status while enforcing other laws and that required immigrants to carry their papers at all times.

Judge Bolton put those sections on hold while she continued to hear the larger issues in the challenges to the law.

“Preserving the status quo through a preliminary injunction is less harmful than allowing state laws that are likely pre-empted by federal law to be enforced,” she said.

“There is a substantial likelihood that officers will wrongfully arrest legal resident aliens,” she wrote. “By enforcing this statute, Arizona would impose a ‘distinct, unusual and extraordinary’ burden on legal resident aliens that only the federal government has the authority to impose.”

Rape on College Campuses

2010-07-27T22:56:00.004-05:00

In March, Jaclyn Friedman wrote a great piece for the Washington Post about how rape is handled on college campuses. I love what she doing with this piece, and think it is awesome that she is bringing more attention to an incredibly important issue. However, there are a few things about the article (such as her use of gendered language) that I think missed the mark a little.

First off, the awesome stuff Jaclyn said.

I love that Jaclyn brought attention to the fact that Title IX can be utilized to ensure not only equal athletic opportunities for women in educational settings, but to prohibit sex discrimination in general. This prohibition against sex discrimination in Title IX “specifically obligates schools to prevent and remedy sexual harassment and assault.” Too many young women do not realize the broad protections of Title IX gives them the right to call bullshit (legally and otherwise) when their school does not handle their sexual assault or harassment case appropriately. I also appreciate that Jaclyn, while bringing attention to how awesome Title IX is, acknowledges how hard it can be, emotionally and otherwise, to press charges against your institution for not treating your sexual harassment or assault case appropriately.

Also, Jaclyn brought up a really interesting statistic that I never knew before: Of the more than 400,000 rapes that will likely be committed on a U.S. college campus this year, “more than 90 percent …will be committed by repeat offenders who will rape, on average, six times during their academic careers.” As horrible as these numbers are, they are, in a weird way, encouraging. In Jaclyn’s words:

That rate of recidivism is actually a golden opportunity, if only schools and courts would take it. It means that all we need to do is get serious about punishing the tiny percentage of men who are committing the vast majority of assaults, and many, many fewer women will have to live through the trauma of sexual violation.

The overall message of Jaclyn’s article: that colleges and universities need to stop trying to make themselves look better by underreporting sexual assault crimes on their campus, is also a much-needed message. Jaclyn couples this message with advice to colleges to “eliminate the ‘miscommunication’ excuse that many rapists use by creating an on-campus standard that requires any party to a sexual interaction to make sure their partner is actively enthusiastic about what's happening -not just not objecting.” This was an overarching theme in the book Yes Means Yes that she and Jessica Valenti edited, and it is a point I don’t hear made often enough.

Okay- on to me nitpicking.

Throughout her article, Jaclyn refers to rapists as “he” and rape victims as “she.” I understand that it is more likely for a woman to be raped than a man and that women are most often raped by men. However, the persistent use of gendered language is why men are even less likely than their female counterparts to report that they have been raped. Also, gendered language further marginalizes those who have been assaulted by a member of the same gender.

Jaclyn says the fact that “Bucknell University is considering abandoning mediation as a way of adjudicating sexual assault cases” is a “small glimmer of hope that change is coming.” Obviously, mediation can be a horribly traumatic experience for a survivor to endure and the idea of an institution forcing a survivor to sit in a room with her or his rapist is disgusting. However, the term “‘abandoning’” seems to imply that it would not be an option for any survivor, even if she or he requested it. I do not know under what circumstances a survivor would want mediation, but I don’t think a school should bar a survivor from using any method she or he thinks she or he needs to help heal. I am doubtful many survivors would choose mediation, but in the event they do they should be able to control how their case is concluded in any way they see fit.

Anyway, all in all, Jaclyn wrote a fantastic article I suggest you all take a look at. If you get a chance to read it, let me know your thoughts in comments.

White privilege is about more than money

2010-07-27T13:19:00.002-05:00

I think my biggest problem with this op-ed written by Virginia Senator James "Jim" Webb (D) for the Wall Street Journal is in the title. "Diversity and the Myth of White Privilege".

In this op-ed, Webb tells how he believes that affirmative action for "people of color" as opposed to just African Americans, needs to end. He believes this because such policies go beyond the original intention of affirmative action - helping African Americans who suffered from the effects of slavery. More importantly, it leaves certain groups of whites at a disadvantage.

I will leave you all to discuss Webb's opinions about affirmative action if you please. What I want to discuss here is his use of the term "white privilege" in the title of his op-ed. Calling white privilege a myth is a rather controversial statement coming from a white writer, and more importantly to me, in his piece Webbs seems to misunderstand the idea of white privilege. White privilege is not a myth, but Webb's apparent misunderstanding of the concept had me distracted every time I read his piece.

Webb seems to believe that only those who are best off financially and educationally possess any form of privilege. Yes, wealthy people and those with higher education are privileged, but to argue that because whites no longer have almost exclusive access to wealth and education that there is no such thing as white privilege demonstrated a narrow and unproductive understanding of privilege.

The whole problem lies here: even in this world where, according to Webb, whites are being set back by policies meant to benefit people of color, if a person of color has a particular job, they may be questioned about their qualifications (did they get it only to meet some diversity quota?). This is evidence of white privilege. A white person would not have the same assumption made about them. It would be assumed that they hold their job on their own merits. I bet Webb would assume things like this. And Webb is white.

Go figure.

[Thanks to Tyler for the link.]

Woman doesn't consent, but jury finds consent anyway

2010-07-26T12:12:00.002-05:00

**Trigger warning: Sexual assault**

A St. Louis Circuit Court jury decided against a woman who brought a lawsuit against the company responsible for a "Girls Gone Wild" video that she appeared in years ago without her knowledge. This woman claimed that she had not given consent to appear in the video.

A jury on Thursday rejected a young woman's claim that the producers of a "Girls Gone Wild" video damaged her reputation by showing her tank top being pulled down by another person in a Laclede's Landing bar.

A St. Louis Circuit Court jury deliberated 90 minutes before ruling against the woman, 26, on the third day of the trial. Lawyers on both sides argued the key issue was consent, with her side saying she absolutely refused to give it and the defense claiming she silently approved by taking part in the party.

The defense's argument about the woman's consent is absurd and makes the fact that this woman lost this lawsuit extremely troubling. It is classic victim-blaming to claim that because a woman made the decision to be in a certain situation that she also made the decision to be sexually assaulted by a franchise that clearly has some messed up ideas about consent (like it not being necessary at all, or is ok if it includes pressure). It's shocking to me that this held up in court.

But Patrick O'Brien, the jury foreman, told a reporter later that an 11-member majority decided that Doe had in effect consented by being in the bar and dancing for the photographer. In a trial such as this one, agreement by nine of 12 jurors is enough for a verdict.

"Through her actions, she gave implied consent," O'Brien said. "She was really playing to the camera. She knew what she was doing."

And she knew she had not given any kind of acceptable consent to have her top pulled down or to appear in a video.

h/t

America’s Obsession with Weight: Health Care System Edition

2010-07-22T21:05:00.007-05:00

The way medical professionals talk to women about weight makes me so angry sometimes. The conversation never seems to be about nutrition or fitness when we talk about women- even in a doctor’s office. It is about weight loss, weight management, and weight control. My doctor never asks me if I exercise regularly or if I eat my 5 fruits and veggies a day- he just weighs me, like that reveals all there is to know about my overall fitness level.

This obsession with weight is not only a reductive way to look at overall health, but it can be dangerous. Eating disorders are on the rise in the U.S., partly due to our culture’s obsession with weight. If you are a young person who is at risk for an eating disorder, the last thing you need is your physician reinforcing the attitude that weight is everything.

Of course, like with most bad things, women suffer from our health care system’s obsession with weight more acutely than men do. A recent study revealed that doctors “recommend greater weight loss to female patients than to equivalently overweight male patients.” It is unclear why this is, but the study’s authors suggest “societal bias is one possibility.” I understand that doctors are just people, and that they internalize the same impossibly thin images of women that we all do. But, really, if doctors can’t be objective about what is a healthy weight for a woman, who can?

I am particularly upset about this tonight because of an experience I had in doctor’s office waiting to be tested for strep earlier today.

I had waited for four hours when a young-ish physician’s assistant called me in. He took my temp (I still had the fever I had that morning) and asked me to step on a scale.

He asked me how much I weigh as I stood on the scale and I gave him a rough estimate. As the numbers got larger he said, “Well, someone has been eating some barbeque.” As the numbers got even larger, he said “Well, someone has been eating a lot of barbeque.”

I let him know, in words only someone with strep who has been waiting four hours can, that he should shut up.

Later, the asshole came in again. As he was putting the cotton swab down my throat he remarked, “For someone so uptight, you don’t have much of a gag reflex.”

I reminded him that there are laws against sexual harassment, finally got someone else to help me, and later filed a complaint.

When he made the first comment about barbeque, I thought maybe he was just an asshole, not necessarily a sexist one. When he made the crack about my gag reflex, I knew he was sexist and suspected that might have been the reason he thought it was okay to insult my weight.

When I heard from the other room that his response after weighing an obese man was “Alright, step down, please,” my suspicions were confirmed.

So what have your experiences with medical professionals been? Have you ever experienced them making inappropriate comments about your weight or seen them treat women differently than men?

Come on; don’t leave me ranting here alone.

New Blogger (Me!)

2010-07-21T17:34:00.004-05:00

Hello All!

This is Tory and I am a new blogger here at Female Impersonator. I have been reading this blog for awhile, so I am kinda geeking out right now.

So tell me about yourself, you say? Well, I am a full-time undergraduate student majoring in philosophy on the east coast. I have a passion for watching TV (Grey's Anatomy and Mad Men are my favorites right now), taking naps, and reading YA fiction I am too old for (Sarah Dessen is my favorite).

So how did you first become interested in feminism, you ask? Well, I have always been a feminist but I first started identifying myself as such after I saw Jessica Valenti on The Colbert Report. I bought her book Full Frontal Feminism and never looked back. I got to meet her a little over a year ago and I might have cried afterwards. And by "I might," I mean "I did."

I am interested in all things women's rights, but I am particularly interested in wage discrimination, trans issues (and LGBTQ rights generally), women in the military, and women in politics.

How do feel about Ruth Bader Ginsberg, you inquire? You ask the best questions. I think she is the epitome of awesomeness.

Looking forward to having some stellar feminist dialogue with you,

Tory

Women on the sidelines -- Troubling ideas about female coaches

2010-07-20T06:18:00.009-05:00

Last summer I wrote a post about some of my mom's troubling ideas about how to be a good (read: tough) soccer player, said player must play "like a boy". Well, the same Challenger British Soccer camp, coordinated by my mom, that sparked that post was back in my hometown this past June, and my mom had more ideas about gender and soccer to share.

It's not often that my mom and I fundamentally disagree about something, but apparently when it comes to sports we don't quite see eye to eye.

This year my mom was discussing her contract with Challenger Sports, which she had recently renewed, and she mentioned that one of her only stipulations was that she did not want female coaches because she "doesn't like them". She was adamant about this and I asked her why. Her reasons broke down as follows:

1) Female coaches don't have the same commanding presence on the field as male coaches.
2) On a related note, children respond better to men than they do to women.

Overall, she believes that female coaches aren't as loud or forceful as male coaches and they will, therefore, not be able to coach as effectively.

Ok. The first thing that really bothered me about my mom saying this is that she has been coaching youth soccer for years. When I was in high school I used to help her coach young players in our home town. The idea that she truly believed that she and I, as women, could not be effective coaches due to our femaleness baffled me. In fact, I knew it could not be how she honestly felt because she has said on several ocassions that people have approached her indicating that she was considered one of the top coaches in our small town because of her experience as a soccer player and coach, which none of the other coaches possessed even a fraction of.

That recognition must have felt great for her, except that by her logic about what makes an effective coach, there is no reason that she should be a good coach. She is a woman, after all.

I asked my mom about her refusal to allow female coaches at the soccer camp. Had she seen any of the female coaches employed by Challenger do their job? No. Then how could she be so sure that these female coaches wouldn't be as good at doing the same job done by the male coaches? She just knew. Did she understand that all coaches employed by Challenger had to have the same minimum level of coaching training? Yes.

I tried to get her to understand that her intentional exclusion of women coaches was based entirely on her gendered assumptions about the capabilities of men and women. She assumes that female coaches will be quiet and perhaps even timid on the field and will not demand the attention of the children they are coaching. While those are atrributes that are generally perscribed to females in our society of the gender binary, it is unfair to use only those stereotypes of what women are when considering which coaches to bring to a camp in our town.

It makes little sense for a shy, quiet, timid woman to want to coach a sport, let alone get the training required for getting into a program like Challenger that requires going abroad to coach kids in another country. The women in these situations have to be good coaches, otherwise they wouldn't have their jobs.

My mom automatically codes certain attributes as either feminine or masculine and assumes that only women can possess the feminine traits and men the masculine. She doesn't always do this, but she defaults to this when she discusses things like sports and athletes. She gives little room for the variety of human behavior that accepts that men can sometimes be quiet and women can be forceful. That kind of narrow-mindedness means that the kids in my small community may never experience positive examples of female soccer coaches because for some of them, this soccer camp is their only experience with playing the sport. It's not fair, especially to young female players who are being denied a role model they can better identify with, considering that the possible female coaches that could be brought to town are being turned away for nothing more than the fact that they are women.

My mom seemed unmoved by my attempts to get her to see things from my point of view on this issue, so I decided not to pursue it further with her. But it's a topic that I feel is important and needs to be addressed. Hence this post.

18-year-old singer gets Botox to prepare for Glee debut

2010-07-19T13:23:00.005-05:00

From time to time I come across random things on the internet that really kind of worry me. This is one of them.

Charice Pempengco, an 18-year-old Filipino singer who recently released her first album, prepared for her debut on the show Glee "by getting Botox and an anti-aging procedure".

Charice's publicist insisted that the Botox procedure was undergone for muscle pain and not for cosmetic purposes, but that seems to be thrown into question when the singer is quoted as saying (emphasis mine):

"All people will be anticipating how will Charice look? Is she good enough to pit against Rachel Berry? So of course there is tremendous pressure," Charice said.

And the cosmetic surgeon who worked on Charice, Vicki Belo, said that the singer underwent a 30-minute procedure to make her round face more narrow. Belo also said (emphasis mine):

"You chew gum and it turns out to be a favorite super-exercise for these muscles, your chewing muscles. So we will show you, this muscle here it's a bit protruding," Belo said as she touched Charice's face. "It's like a ball, so we are going to Botox that in order to get it flat so she will have a cuter face ... we want to give you the apple cheek look because it's cute, right?"

To me, that indicates that while perhaps there was some muscle pain that the singer was dealing with, that beauty was definitely also part of the equation.

Because in Hollywood you're never too young to start suffering for beauty's sake, right?

You're a woman. Now make some babies!

2010-07-18T15:45:00.008-05:00

This post was inspired by several posts over at Shakesville regarding the idea that women who choose to remain childless are selfish. I agree with the commentary at that blog, so I recommend you check it out.

The idea that deliberately childless women are selfish is a general theme when it comes to policing women in this society and smothering them with ideas of what other, more important people expect them to do with their lives as opposed to allowing them to make their own decisions without comment. When a woman, especially a married woman, chooses not to have children, it opens her up for all sorts of comments ranging from her being selfish to the idea that she must be very unhappy because she doesn't have kids.

And in this piece about men who really really want to be daddies, the wishes of men are added to the mix of reasons why women should feel terrible if they do not reproduce as society (and perhaps their husband) expects them to. (Trigger warning on that link for descriptions of reproductive coercion)

According to this piece, there are a growing number of men who desperately desire to be fathers, but are hitting roadblocks because the women they are with would rather do things like pursue careers, or they just plain aren't interested in being mothers. The disturbing part of it all is that it shows that some men want to be fathers so badly that they will pressure their wives into trying to get pregnant.

Take Neil, whose wife Fiona was made a partner at a PR company and does not feel ready to be a mother. Neil said:

"I'm putting pressure on her to stop taking the Pill and to leave the situation to fate," he admits. "I know it's a decision we've got to make together, but I don't want to be an old dad. A baby would make my world complete."

There is a sad but interesting point here. Evolving gender roles and opportunities have allowed more and more women to progress in careers that they may not be willing to give up right away to start a family. They have also allowed men to express their desire for fatherhood more openly. While that may seem like progress, where women used to be forced to follow husbands pursuing careers, they are still facing opposition to living the lives they want from husbands who are willing to coerce them into having children to fulfill their own desires.

It's great and all that men are coming around to the idea of fatherhood and that they don't have to be alienated from their feelings when it comes to wanting children. But women should also be allowed to be true to themselves, whether or not their visions for their futures include children. They shouldn't be ridiculed or looked down upon for not fitting into other people's expectations. All in all, women still lose.

I guess this whole motherhood/children thing has been on my mind lately because of the unsettling trend among girls I went to high school with of getting pregnant and married before they turn 23.

I'm relatively young, but I have known for most of my life, with much certainty, that I will never be a mother. Children tire me. I have never been able to stomach babysitting for more than a few hours at a stretch. Holding babies makes me anxious, and I have several memories of being a child and family members practically forcing me to hold a baby, a new member of the family, because why shouldn't I want to hold a cute little baby? The thought of being responsible for a human being, emotionally, financially, what have you, terrifies me.

When I've expressed these feelings to various people, generally my family, it has been said that I will change my mind once I grow older. You know, right about the time that this society will start expecting me to pop out some babies and fulfill my womanly duty of self-imposed motherhood.

Not to mention my type 1 Diabetes and the difficulties of managing the disease with another human growing inside me and the potential complications that could arise from that. Not to mention the obvious idea that me parenting a child that I did not want to be a parent to is the ultimate form of unfairness. Not to mention that with those things taken into consideration, I might sound like a good person who has made the right choice when it comes to bearing children.

But that's not what people will see when they look at me in a few years and ask if I have children. Or if I want them. All they'll see is the word "Selfish" stamped across my forehead. Unfortunately, as long as women continue to be necessary for creating babies and as long as we live in a society that believes that arbitrary expectations are more important than the desires of individual women, it's a brand that many of us will not be able to escape.

Guest Post: Thoughts on a Ruined Afternoon

2010-07-13T10:36:00.003-05:00

Miranda Mammen is the founder of Women's Glib, a blog by and for young feminists. She graduated from high school in June and will be a freshman at Stanford University this fall.

Cross-posted at Women's Glib.

Memory: It is a delicious Sunday afternoon. Sun glitters through the trees, splashes over benches and stains the ground. It is the fourth of July, and I have spent several hours on my own, reading the intoxicating prose of one of my favorite writers, Zadie Smith, in one of my favorite places in all of New York City: Fort Tryon Park. Shoes off, feet in the grass. Sometimes the world is so beautiful it makes me ache. It's time for the ideal reading break: an ice cream cone. I walk to the truck, pay for my chocolate ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. Perfect refreshing cool, perfect crunch. I stroll back into the park under a canopy of lush leaves. Sometimes the world is so beautiful it makes me ache.

There are people in the background of my vision. One of them emerges slowly; I understand that he is moving toward me. He is an older man, probably in his early seventies, walking slowly. He stops in front of me, and I pause slightly.

He is going to say, "It is so gorgeous on this lawn."

He is going to say, "It is so relaxing here!"

He is going to say, "It is so hot today, don't you think?"

No, he is not. He is not going to say any of these things. His face is two feet from mine and he is saying, "It is so sexy watching you lick that cone."

There is a voice in my head saying: You should have known this was coming. I am still walking and I say crisply, loudly, "THAT'S DISGUSTING" and he smiles and he turns and I walk and my mouth is dry. Sometimes the world is so awful it makes me ache.

Vision: I don't walk on. I don't say anything. I laugh shrilly and he looks startled and I mash my cold ice cream into his face, his beard, it covers him and I am calm. I've won.

Vision: I don't walk on. I scream, "Leave me the fuck alone." I shriek, "You're a piece of shit." I shout, "Fuck you, prick." I've won.

Reality: I can't win. Street harassment is so mind-bogglingly fucked up. It's a cruel game that I'm playing against my will and I can't fucking win it. That's all I want: I want to win. I want to feel better than these jerks because I am. Even more than I hate harassment itself, I abhor the way I feel afterwards. At first I feel ashamed, embarassed even though I've done literally nothing wrong. Then I feel regretful, angry at myself for not reacting more harshly. I feel like a bad feminist, like I haven't spoken up properly or stood up for myself in the "right" way. Next I feel guilty. I feel mean. I make excuses for the dipshit who's put me in this situation -- I tell myself maybe he's a nice guy, maybe he didn't mean it that way. And finally, always, I feel sick, physically nauseous.

All of this shit, all of this fills my mind. It takes up so much space, so much brainpower and it's absolutely useless. Instead of being consumed by these victim-blaming thoughts, I want to feel safe and strong and sexy, sexy on my own terms.

Street harassment isn't a compliment. It's not "no big deal," and it's not isolated. It lies on the continuum of violence against women; it's meant to keep women quiet, keep us inside, keep us from coming and going as we please. It can ruin your afternoon, your emotional safety, your confidence. It needs to be stopped.

~~~~~

HollaBack! is an awesome organization that works to fight street harassment on a global level. Check out their new website, and their PSA (transcript below). I'm the one wearing the plaid jacket.

It was 8am and I was on my way to work. And over my shoulder, I hear... And I wondered, what did I do to deserve this?

I was dropping my kids off at school. Then I felt him. Was it something I was wearing?

I was walking my dog. And then I felt him. Why is it always me? Why does this always happen to me?

And then I remembered: I'm not alone. I remembered I don't have to walk on anymore. I remembered I can HollaBack. I remembered I can HollaBack. Then I remembered: I can totally HollaBack.

If street harassment is okay, then groping is okay. And if groping is okay, then beating is okay. If beating is okay, then rape is okay. And violence against women simply isn't okay. We're ending violence against women one hollaback at a time. Join the movement by holla'ing back and donating at iHollaBack.org. You can end street harassment, one hollaback at a time.

Female Impersonator's looking for contributors!

2010-07-07T11:40:00.003-05:00

Female Impersonator is looking for bloggers to write about current events/news/politics/whatever with a feminist/womanist/pro-feminist perspective.

Interested in a permanent or guest blogging spot? E-mail Amelia at: amelia[dot]impersonator[at]gmail[dot]com!

Female journalist struck by Algerian player after World Cup loss

2010-06-24T13:00:00.007-05:00

As you may have noticed from my string of recent posts about the World Cup, soccer has been on my mind lately.

Yesterday morning I watched the USA's rather dramatic 1-0 defeat of Algeria, a win that came in stoppage time and was a necessary outcome if the USA was to advance to the next round of play.

Today I read that after the game, Algerian player Rafik Saifi slapped a female Algerian journalist, Asma Halimi, without provocation. Halimi struck him back.

I understand that losing a World Cup game must be an emotional experience, but that is no excuse for striking a woman, or anyone else. Sadly, violence against women on soccer game days is not unheard of.

Women's bodies, commercials, and the men's World Cup (part 3)

2010-06-21T12:01:00.005-05:00

One thing about World Cup season is that it means I end up watching a lot more TV than I'm used to. The commercials tend not to be a good thing for my feminist conscience. Women's bodies are used to sell all sorts of things, such as Budweiser beer in the following commercial that was prepared to be played during the World Cup.

While a woman's body is not the main focus of this commercial, the female form is still objectified and portrayed as nothing but a distraction to the men playing soccer. I find it interesting how the beer is portrayed in a similar way: as a distraction to the men on the field. However, the difference lies in the fact that beer is not representative of human beings, and when you're comparing women to beer, what is that saying about women?

A close up of a soccer ball on a field where one field player faces off with a goal keeper for a penalty kick that will determine the outcome of the game in question. The goal keeper and the player preparing to take the kick exchange looks. Over the shoulder of the field player, fans cheering against the goal keeper hold up individual signs that together create an image of a hula girl, which distracts the goal keeper. The field player smirks and winds up to take the kick. Just then, fans sitting behind the goal also hold up individual signs that create the image of a Budweiser beer can and glass filled with beer. The field player is so distracted by this image that his kick goes wide to the right of the goal, losing the game.

Part one and two in my World Cup series.