Sunday, October 11, 2009

Happy National Coming Out Day!

Today is National Coming Out Day. Let's start some conversations about LGBT issues and rights, because talking is the beginning of understanding.
Hope you all have a great day!


Saranga said...

great! and there's me who's just posted a coming out scene on my blog. you'd think i'd planned it this way! ;)

i hate coming out. it's tedious, comes with shocked looks and questions and misundertsandings and it's tiresome. although i'm bi, people generally assume i'm straight because i have a boyfriend.
if people do cotton on to the fact that i do like women, they assume i'm gay.
is it possible to be read as bi? do i have to shout about everyone i like to be read as bi? i don't really want to do that. I'd like people to quit making assumptions about other's sexuality. if this were to happen then we would all be accepted and we wouldn't have to come out.
graah. damn this heterocentric world.

Amelia said...

Coming out is very complicated! Recently I have had several experiences in which people who knew me in high school came out to me as trans because they didn't know who else to talk to in the town we're from, which is very small and rather close-minded. I can't imagine what that must be like, having so few options for people to turn to in that situation.

People make assumptions about non-hetero sexuality. That's easy and natural, I suppose, but it leads to those people having incorrect ideas that can often be problematic. Very rarely will people challenge their assumptions by asking questions of people who are out to them.

I was thinking about writing a blog post about the labels I use for myself in my life. For example, I label myself a feminist, but I don't label my sexuality. The consequences of these choices, I think, are interesting. People seem to treat you differently before and after they learn about how you identify.

Saranga said...

'People seem to treat you differently before and after they learn about how you identify'
Very true. label yourself a feminist and ppl think you're anti pretty women, for example.

'People make assumptions about non-hetero sexuality. That's easy and natural'
Only natural insasfar as we are socialised into and living in hetero centric societies. it's not biologically natural (which I don't think you meant, I just thought it was worth clarifying and making the distinction).

Saranga said...

and while we're on the subject, and because there's not a lot of other places i talk about this stuff, this is why coming out can be really freaking hard:

Amelia said...

Thanks for the clarification! You're right on - "natural" as in it is what we're socialized into. Sorry I wasn't clear enough myself.

And thanks for the link.

Anna said...

I live with Amelia. I actually for real know her. It makes me happy and honored to know her. PS she's even more awesome in person!!!

just a guy said...

I have actually yet to come out as I'm afriad of the reprecussions. I am married and I have a kid on the way. I'm a very conservative/religious person as is everyone in my family. Recently tho, I've come to terms with my bisexuality. To be honest I have never been with another man, but I am very sexually attracted to men, frequent gay frindly dating/porn sites, and often dream about what it would be like being in a relationship with a man. So I have sooooo much respect for those have come out and hope one day to do the same.

Saranga said...

just a guy: I feel for you. if you do have a friend you can come out to (who will be supportive), it *does* make life easier. it's also possible to be bi and in a hetero relationship - I am, but I am lucky that I found someone who isn't threatened by me and will support me through my numerous identity crises!

Amelia said...

@just a guy:

You're always welcome to talk about things here. :)

And it is true, you can be bi and be in a heterosexual relationship. There's nothing wrong with that. I hope you are able to find a comfortable way with dealing with coming out.

just a guy said...

Thank you for the kind support! I hope to continue my relationship with my wife, but I'm afriad she would leave me if I ever came out to her. So for now I'll probbly have to keep it a secret. But thanks again for being so accepting and open. You guys are awesome!