The Women's Center at my school is preparing for Take Back the Night and they're going around videotaping people, asking them to finish this sentence:
When the fear and threat of sexualized violence is gone, I will...
What will you do?
Sunday, October 19, 2008
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15 comments:
...finally be able to renew my faith in people, and not be slightly suspicious and uneasy every time I meet someone on the street when I am alone.
I hate being that way, but I can't help it.
...be able to walk down the more secluded streets in the city at night without a chaperone (be it a friend, significant other, family member, etc.), and stop constantly glancing over my shoulder to make sure no one is following me. I will be able to be completely self-sufficient when I want to go out, for the fear in the back of my mind will be erased. I will be able to be where I want, do what I want, get as drunk as I want, and I won't have to worry about people "tsk tsk"-ing me for not being a careful young lady.
Do more, and more diverse sex work - and hope I'll have a lot of male colleagues who cater to women as well as men.
...talk to people on the subway.
Take walks alone at night.
Feel free to go out whenever I wanted, without worrying about finding someone to go with me.
I will be able to drink as much as I want in public. Not that I want to get smashed every weekend, because I hate being hung-over. But I hate that my male friends can drink all the want, whereas I feel I need to limit myself for my sexual safety, rather than the safety of my liver.
Not worry about whether or not I can make a quit getaway in the shoes I'm wearing.
Stop considering whether it would be a good idea for me to take some gun safety classes and buy a weapon, just in case.
Stop feeling guilty about the fact that I *should* be taking martial arts classes, even though I don't want to, because I am a woman and therefore I *should* learn to defend myself.
not have to worry about my girlfriend or my other female friends walking home at night.
@feministblogproject: that last one about taking self-defense classes is never a bad idea for any person of any sex, and depending on your opinions, the second-to-last one might also be a great idea, regardless of the threat of sexualized violence. Just my irrelevant thoughts on the matter.
not have to worry about my daughters and not have to worry about my husband's reaction if someone hurt them.
Be able to watch television and see ads without being constantly reminded of the looming, omnipresent threat to women's bodily sovereignty.
Michael-
I think the biggest problem for me, self-defense-wise, is that I'm feeling pressure to do it for the wrong reasons. I'm not getting pressured (mostly from relatives) to take self-defense because it is a good thing to do. I'm getting pressured to do it because I am a woman and I need to defend myself from rape at all times. Yes, family members tell me I need to do it because I am a woman. None of my male relatives get pressured into doing self-defense. But the implication is that if I'm raped, it will be partly my fault because I didn't learn how to defend myself.
For the record, I did take a semester-long karate class in college, and I learned a lot. My skills have deteriorated, of course, but I definitely learned things about self-defense that have stayed with me. Still, I get pressured to get back into it again, not because it's good for everyone to do, but because I'm a woman. And that's what bothers me. That people who care about me would consider my attack partially my fault because I didn't work in self-defense between a day job, ballet classes, yoga, etc.
...hitchhike across the US.
ride my bike all over the city all night long!
go out for walks alone at night to look at the stars, work an hour later and not worry about the groups of men who hang out of the streets I have to walk down to get home, go to the pub even when I know I've got nobody to walk me home and stop worrying that every time a man on the street looks at me or talks to me or walks in the same direction as me it's a prelude to an attack.
I would finally travel the world on my own.
I prefer traveling alone, but as it is I have to stick to very specific places, and make sure I'm in my hotel room with the door locked before nine every evening.
Not feel like I have to be denfensive when talking to guys. Not even the violence so much as the comments that I fear some guys will give.
I may never have experienced a threat of sexual violence, but there's enough of it around that I still feel I have to be wary.
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